I am a Statistic!

We are all statistics in some way. Gender, Race, Occupation, etc.

Well, I have been down and out these last two days with what they believe is the Flu.

My Strep and Flu tests were negative, but they think they caught it really early and they will treat it as if it is the Flu.

I had the Flu 10, 12, 15 years ago, and this isn't quite the same, but oh, well. Meds, liquids, and rest--that's all I've been doing for nearly 48 hours.

So much for using hand sanitizer every time I turn around, using my sweater sleeve or paper towels to open doors, holding my breath around sick people, and not using phones after others. I took precautions, but I guess they weren't enough.

My husband has been amazing.  At night, when my fever is super high, he wakes me to drink to cool down.

Anyone out there feeling sick--I am so sorry! I feel your pain!

Hot Chocolate 5K

This is my 6th year, I think, to participate in the Hot Chocolate 5K (Allstate Hot Chocolate 15K/5K).

When I began participating in this race, I walked it.  Most years, I simply walked it. I am not a runner.  However, this year, I jogged most of the first mile, part of the second mile, and the last 500 meters.

I set a new personal record!

Before the race

Waiting in my Corral

It is somewhere between 35 and 39 degrees. The wind chill is much colder.

Heading toward the starting line

Afterward

My sweet man found a little office with chairs to hang out in while I raced and then took me there to rest and warm up.

An official pic from the race

I need to figure out how to look glamorous while running. Ha ha!

Pictures Taken for the Community Challenge

Here are some random pictures of me from the It's Time Texas Community Challenge. 

walking during cafeteria duty

chicken, rice, and green beans

banana, chocolate chip, peanut butter blender muffins made into bread

trying a new yogurt

actively monitoring during testing

chicken, rice, and peas

salad for dinner with my sweet man

banana, chocolate chip, peanut butter blender muffins made into bread

trying another new yogurt

actively monitoring during testing

chicken, rice, green beans, and peas

trying a CarbMaster yogurt for a snack on a late dinner kind of night

more homemade peanut butter banana chocolate chip muffins (made in a bundt pan)

Books!

Over on Facebook, a friend asked for book recommendations. I put off answering b/c I knew it would take some time as I created my list. I get so excited when I talk about books.

My BFF, Jill Culmo, whose list and Blog I shared with you on January 1st, is much better put together.  Here is a list of books I have enjoyed or read lately.

The Never List by Koethi Zan

One Thousand White Women by Jim Fergus

All the Ugly and Wonderful Things by Bryn Greenwood

The Day the World Came to Town by Jim DeFede

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell

Any book by Gillian Flynn

Any book by Liane Moriarty

The Perfect Mother by Aimee Molloy

In a Dark, Dark Wood by Ruth Ware

The Last Mile by David Baldacci

You can also check me out on Goodreads!  I keep track of what I have read and what I plan to read on there.

My problem with creating a list is that as soon as I think I am finished, I think of something else to add.

Girl Scouts--Adult Awards

These last 2-3 years, I have been the ARS for our Service Unit.  I am responsible for getting out the info about nominating adult volunteers for awards. I also have access to training records and the nominations to make sure everything is in line for the adults to actually received the awards.

What I have found is that most Girl Scout volunteers do not like to nominate themselves and most girls/families won't nominate their volunteers.

I just simply keep communicating. I send out emails to volunteers/leaders. Our communication person sends out info to our families. I post info on our social media site.

I nominate everyone I think of to get the ball rolling.

I was just sitting here thinking. I can see all the nominations that come through for our SU. Very few, if any, are done by girls and parents. Why not? The amount of time and energy leaders put into Girl Scouting warrants these awards.  Why are the girls and parents not nominating their leaders/volunteers?

Anyone else out there have this problem? Found a solution? I would love to hear your ideas!

Valentine's Day Ideas

So, I am a newlywed, and I want to do something or get something special for my sweet man. I have been searching through some sites based on a 1-800-FLOWERS email I received. Saw some cute ideas, but I was wondering what you all might suggest for our first Valentine's Day as a married couple.

Hashimoto's and My Thyroid

My labwork finally came back, and my dr called to say she wanted me to come in to chat about the results. I was a bit nervous at first thinking something might be seriously wrong, but she didn't sound overly concerned, so I calmed down.

Apparently, my brain is not registering much, if any, Thyroid activity or hormone creation/activity. This really surprised me. We discussed changing my meds to something that should work better, decided on a milligrammage to start with, and discussed what to expect. I cannot start with the full mg b/c it will be like I'm on Speed or something, so we will start a little lower and work our way up.

In the past, I have been able to tell, or so I thought, that my THyroid has been off, but I haven't felt that way lately. That is why this surprised me.  However, it does explain a few other concerns surrounding hormones.

I am looking forward to working with this dr and getting answers.

Anyone out there have any ideas or suggestions for those with Hashimoto's?

What I Never Expected to Learn in GS

28 Skills You Never Expected to Learn at Girl Scouts blog post from Girl Scouts

I just read and enjoyed this blog post.  Like I have said before, Girl Scouts runs in my blood.  I joined as a Brownie in Kindergarten (Daisy was not a level at that time), and I stayed in all the way through Senior Year, earning my Gold Award.

I cannot even remember everything I have done, let alone learned.  Girl Scouts has truly made me who I am--along with my parents, grandparents, family, teachers, education, and friends.

I remember the Junior badge for Car Care.  My dad had me in the driveway changing the oil and tires on the car. I learned a lot about cars, their care, and got some idea of what to ask or say if I needed to take a car into the shop.

We camped all the time, so I have learned to create a packing list and how to follow it. I know how to prepare recipes, shopping lists, and meals. I know which rice to buy and which one not to get. (We always laugh about that!) I know what to do if the plumbing is bad and how to find firewood, create a fire circle, set-up/start a fire, and how to safely put one out.

I have made lifelong friends.  Not only did I meet my BFF, Jill, in Girl Scouts, but I have a ton of other friends I can call on if needed. We could go to lunch, catch up, and it be like no time has passed.
Girl Scouts also gave me the opportunity to spend time with my mom. She was our leader for many years, and I treasure that time we had.

Through skills learned in Girl Scouts and by working along side my mom, I learned to pour concrete, dig holes, move a fence, build a pool deck, fix things that broke around the house, learned who to call when I couldn't, how to sew, and more.

We were put in so many positions to be leaders, make decisions, handle money, make/set plans, and more that lead to skills in today's jobs.  I cannot remember learning anything specific, but I know how to work with people, listen, voice my opinions and concerns, and problem solve.

Girl Scouts surrounded me with girls with good morals and ethics.  I was never tempted by drugs, alcohol, or anything else that would put me in harm's way. I kept great grades and set goals for myself. Those surrounding me supported me.

I have also had the opportunity to work with girls in 4 different troops since I was in high school. Giving back and helping them to have some of the same experiences I have has been so rewarding.

If you have influence over a young lady in your life, register her for Girl Scouts, find her an amazing troop (or lead it yourself), and help her stay in through high school. You won't regret it!

Eating Healthy and Gallstones

At work, we have been doing the It's Time Texas Community Challenge.  I have been making sure I am eating healthy meals 3 times a day along with a healthy mid-morning snack (since I don't eat until late). I work in a workout or something when I can (mostly when I do lunch duty and walk around the cafeteria or when I am actively monitoring testing and walk all over the room).  Funny that I am trying so hard to watch everything during January and this is the time my gallstones start moving around causing me great pain and agony.

Since I was diagnosed with gallstones in 2010, I have maybe had 2-3 days of pain.  Well, they decided to start moving and keep moving for a week. In a 5 day period, I saw the doctor twice, had 12 vials of blood drawn, a urine sample, an ultrasound, a sonogram, a chest x-ray, two EKGs, a CT Scan, and an ER visit.

All led to us learning my Thyroid meds need to be changed (even though I don't feel any different since changing them last time--I have felt pretty good in that regard) and that I might have Gastritis and Cholelithiasis.

Thank goodness they are sitting still most of the time now and the pain has gone away for the most part.  So much for trying to be healthy!  Now, I have to stay away from fried foods (Hello! I have Celiac!  There are no fried foods!) and lower my fat intake/eat low fat.  Fine. I'll give it a try, and I have been doing pretty well.

Actually, I am still just watching what I am eating and making the best choices I can.

Anyone else have gallstones and have some advice?

Pampered Chef

I am still selling Pampered Chef if anyone is interested. The Spring products just launched!

You can find out more at www.pamperedchef.com/pws/mkessner.  If you would like to join my team or learn more about how to earn free and reduce priced items as well as earn extra money each month, please let me know.

Weight Loss Journey--Part 4

November 2014

I continued to do well with my walking and working out until June 2015, when Mom passed away.  I pretty much lost all desire and motivation, so I all but stopped with the workouts.

In December 2015, my doctor diagnosed me with Hashimoto's and Celiac.  Now, I started Thyroid meds and had to cut out gluten.  I thought I was doing OK, but I wasn't.  I really started reading everything, even more than I had before.

In February 2016, I found some motivation and started watching my calorie intake again.  I had been using the Myfitnesspal app to help guide my eating and calorie intake.  During the second half of 2015, I quit using it.  When I realized by the end of January 2016 that I had gained about 10-13 lbs since June, I had to start using the app again and doing what I could to workout. I really like this app, and it keeps me on track.

I also read food labels and researched foods to eat when I did go out to help me watch my gluten consumption.  By cutting out gluten, I could tell I was feeling better.  A lot of the digestive and stomach problems had gone away, and I could tell that I felt better overall. Inflammation had gone down, joints quit hurting, and I just had a much better feeling that I really can't explain.

May 2016

Between July 2012 and now, I have lost 90 lbs. Of course, I have not kept all that off, but I do try to maintain within a certain range. That, I can handle and not stress about.

All of it is due to changing my eating habits, what I eat, eating more protein, fruits, and vegetables, and cutting out gluten, bread, crackers, pasta, and most sugars.  I now eat spinach salads, vegetables, and yogurt, which never happened before July 2012, and I make sure I have protein at lunch and dinner. I used to have a shake made of powders sold at my doctor's office for breakfast, but now, I have a variety of things to get my day started.  I have taken supplements to regulate my Iron, Vitamin D, and more. I eat gluten free baked goods every now and again, I don't snack from the candy basket at work, and I never eat from the foods shared at work (unless I read labels or know exactly what is in it, which is rare).

Some say I have unbelievable will power.  No, I just can't take the risk of poisoning my body and making myself sick. When I go out, I have to research the restaurant and choose carefully.  When I go to other people's homes, I take my own food.  I take my lunch every day to work.  I have to be in control of my food, every bite.

Weight Loss Journey--Part 3

Throughout 2013 and 2014, I continued watching my carbs, cutting out sweets as much as possible, eating more protein, and working out when I could. If I ate bread or pasta, it was wheat.  I ate brown rice instead of white.

March 2, 2013

August 2013

In 2014, I began walking 30 minutes to an hour as many days as possible.

My first 5K in February 2014

 Spring 2014

Between Memorial Day and July 4th, my BFF, Jill, and I walked 100 miles.  It was amazing! I did lots of walking throughout 2014.

During all this time, I was still seeing my Wellness Doctor.  In May 2014, I was told to watch my gluten intake.  I started reading labels and cutting out anything with wheat, barley, and rye.  As I began this Gluten Free journey, I thought I was doing a good job, but I found there were hidden ingredients and eating out was a struggle.

By changing from white flour to wheat, I was hurting myself even more, but I had no idea.

Weight Loss Journey--Part 2

I continued to see this doctor and work on lowering my A1C and watch my eating from February 2010-June 2011.  I tried changing a few things on my menu, but I was struggling.

At some point, I saw a doctor specifically for my digestive issues, but he was rude and made me uncomfortable and stupid.  He did not help me.

In May 2011, I changed jobs, and my new one began in August.  I was still trying to do better, but I really wasn't losing weight or lowering my A1C. I just wasn't figuring it out, I guess.

In January 2012, I began going to what I call a Wellness Doctor.  Before I went, I asked family, who had been going, if he was a Quack or used really different methods.  I mean, what is a Wellness doctor? They said he did not.  I still wasn't sure, but I gave him a try.  What I liked was how thorough the blood panel was.  When the results come back each time, the document is 5-10 pages long, filled with details about organs, blood, hormones, and more. The doctors and assistants are deeply knowledgeable about how the body and organs work, what is needed and not needed, and how to get where you want to go. It is a lot about data, which I like.

I decided I had to get serious.  I switched from white flour to wheat, I started really watching my carb intake, and I tried to make better food choices overall. I began losing, and my A1C did start to get better, but things were not moving very fast.

On July 9, 2012, my BFF and I joined Curves, a gym for women.  During the summer months, we tried to work out six days a week.  Once school began, we tried to get in at least four times a week,  More if we could.  At first, we just did the 30 min circuit.  The better we got and the more active we became, we began adding the stationary bike, elliptical, and treadmill. Soon, I was biking 15-20 miles at a time or walking 30 minutes to an hour.

This picture is from the fall of 2012.

I'm not sure how much I lost or how fast, but I know during two different three month periods, I lost 18 lbs, so I know I lost 36 lbs in six months.

I continued working out regularly and watching my diet through 2013.

While I was losing weight and controlling my Diabetes/lowering my A1C, my digestive and stomach problems were not getting better.

This picture is from June 2013.

Weight Loss Journey--Part 1

I may have discussed my four year weight loss journey on here before, but I have been asked several times in the last month how I've done it.  So? I'll try to start at the beginning.

I was never a skinny, thin girl. Since having exploratory surgery resulting in my appendix being removed in 7th grade, I've always had a bit of a belly below my belly button.  Yes, Mom always said I should tone those muscles after the surgery and receiving a 4+ inch scar, but I never did it.  I should have listened to Mom. I probably wore a size 12 back in high school.  It might have been smaller, but that is what I seem to remember.  I think I might have weighed 135 lbs.

This picture is from 1994.

I maintained my weight through college, the best I can remember.  I remember having dresses about the same size my junior and senior years of college. (Sometimes I wish I still had a few of those.  At least, how I remember them.)

However, my first year of teaching, 1997-1998, is when the pounds began to pack on.  I remember, toward the end of that first year, I wore one of Mom's pants outfits to work.  She was larger than me.  I also remember visiting my brother in college, and I wore one of Mom's shorts outfits.  Again, she was larger than me, the high school and college me.  The more I taught, the more I began to gain.

At some point around me third or fourth year of teaching, I joined Weight Watchers.  In five months, I lost 25 lbs.  However, I did not keep it off.  I continued to gain and packed on at least another 55-60 lbs by February 2010.

During this time, I began wearing XL, then 1X, and then 2X, and maybe even a 3X as well as 20W, 22W, and then 24W.  I managed to get dressed and off to work each day without paying attention to a mirror, and I rarely stepped on a scale.  Except for purchasing a new outfit here or there, I did not pay attention to my looks or weight.

During my teaching years, I had digestive issues, an upset stomach, and other digestive problems. I thought it might be a food allergy or milk intolerance, but I never figured out why I was sick daily.  I just kept working.  Soon, I began having some menstrual issues.

Finally, in February 2010, I decided it was time to start taking care of me.  If I don't, who will?
After seeing a great doctor and having blood work done, she called to say I had gallstones and Diabetes.  She and I were both shocked by the results. I thought these were the cause of the problems I continued to deal with daily.

With this news, something had to change.

This picture of me holding my BFF's baby is from September 2010.

30 Days of Blogging Challenge

I just signed up for the 30 Days of Blogging Challenge.
I said I would write 500 words every day for 30 days, not necessarily consecutively, and will post at least twice a week.

This makes me a little nervous. What if I can't think of something to write? What if what I have to say no one wants to read? Oh, well. I will give it a try. :-)

I said I would write 500 words, but I have no idea how to have the system count them. Oh, well. I will just write and hope it is long enough.

Have you checked out my BFF's new blog--Dr. Jill Reads? You can learn so much about books and blogs from her.  She is pretty phenomenal when it comes to books and literacy.

Our other BFF, Robin, is a professor at Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi, and she is pretty phenomenal when it comes to literacy and educating teacher candidates.

The three of us make up The Literacy Triad, and we love to attend conferences, present, hang out together, and share all we know about literacy.

Today, a co-worker and I worked with two History departments to help them use more literature and passages in their classes. I can't wait to see how it goes.

Happy 2019!

Wow!  Time sure has flown since I last posted.  If I don't create posts and backdate them, which I still might, my last post was in July 2017. There was one that year.  The last one before that was in mid to late 2016.

Well, I can tell you why I was a little busy in 2018 to write and publish.  I GOT MARRIED!

I will probably go back and create a post about that and the other major events leading up to my wedding.

One of my best friends, Jill Culmo, has started a new blog, Dr. Jill Reads.  I have always admired her for her reading.  As a child, she would read constantly. That wasn't me. I do enjoy reading, and I love sharing books, but she has such a passion, thirst for reading.

The first post of her new blog is what has led me here today.  For those who truly, truly know me, they know that I don't write or talk about things that make me too emotional.  Well, Jill's Headwinds and Tailwinds: Goodbye, 2018! post has me thinking and reflecting.

Please don't think I am trying to one-up her or anything or dismissing her grief. That is not what this is.  Her reflection, her feelings, her thoughts have led me to some reflecting and thinking too. I have prayed for Jill from the day her father was diagnosed with brain cancer.  With all I've been through, I knew a little something about how the whole experience would impact her. I pray for her now and the days, weeks, months, and years to come.  I pray for her sweet children who will not grow up with their grandfather.  I know a little something about that too.

My father passed away in March 2003.  It was unexpected in a sense.  He suffered a stroke, but he seemed to be doing great.  However, almost a week later, he had another one and passed away after a surgical procedure. My nephew was 19 months old, and my niece would be born 3 months later.  Honestly, I didn't truly mourn. That hurt and was more than I wished to really endure. I threw myself into work and life with my nephew and then niece when she was born.  I just kept taking one step after another and kept going.  No time for tears or hard reflection. I just kept going. And then, b/c I was so busy, time got away from me, and life happened, and I moved forward. I found it too hard to think of Dad, but there were times I would push through to tell my niece and nephew stories so they would know him--the best I could do and say for them to know him.

Years stick with you.  I tend to dread odd years. Yes, I realize I was born in one, and my amazing niece and nephew were both born in odd years, and those are highlights on my life's path, but I have had so much loss in odd years.  My maternal grandfather in March 1995, my paternal grandmother in 1999, my paternal grandfather in 2001, Dad in March 2003, my uncle (mother's brother) in March 2005, my maternal grandmother in February 2013, and Mom in June 2015. I dread the beginning of odd years.

I'm not sure about the terms headwinds and tailwinds. I know my husband could explain them to me and help me use them here, but Jill's post and reflection in thinking in those terms has me thinking about my life's path and the events that have shaped me and gotten me to where I am today.

Family is huge to me. I was truly blessed that my brother and sister-in-law not only lived near us when my niece and nephew were young, but they lived with us for periods of time too. I LOVED this! I was a part of my niece and nephew's daily lives. Even when they didn't live with us, we had family dinner nearly every night. Coming home and them running to meet me at the door with their arms open wide truly made my day each and every day. Our lives were intertwined, and I loved it. Dance practice, soccer practice, birthday parties, Boy and Girl Scouts, and so much more--I was there.

I assumed that this would continue. Our lives would be intertwined. I would be at every sporting, dancing, and school event through their high school graduation. I was wrong. And I felt I would die with the life changes that were thrown at me.

In June 2012, my brother and his little family moved to Converse, Texas. That is 5 hours away. I was devastated. I will be honest. I did not handle this well at all.

I would cry myself to work, and I would cry myself home each day. I didn't want anyone to see me cry. Except for my closest friends and co-workers, no one knew about my mourning--mourning for what was and what I thought would be. Mourning for my changing life.

My home and life went from one of constant busyness to one of tons of free time. I liken it to death, divorce, and empty nest syndrome all at once.  Anyone is difficult, but all three at once is extremely overwhelming and an experience I don't wish on anyone.

While I tried not to show my mourning, grieving, loss, and emotions, I know this impacted my personality and emotional state. A few intuitive folks at work and around me picked up on things, but I would not be honest with them about what was going on with me. I just kept pushing forward and trying to find ways to deal with my new life, my free time, and the pain I felt knowing that the relationship I had with my niece and nephew would be forever changed and never the same or what I thought it would be.

In the midst of dealing with this huge life change and the thoughts/emotions around it, my grandmother passed away. It was not expected at all. She passed away in her sleep. This was the lady who was always there for us. She was at every school event that my parents couldn't attend due to work. She was the one whom I hung out with on my days off during college. She taught me so much. Another important figure in my life that my niece and nephew would not get to know more as they grew older. Her loss hit me hard, but again, there was too much to do to sit and grieve, so I kept going.

It took Mom and me two years to go through everything in her house. We finally got it cleared out and fixed up to rent.

Just as this was happening, my mom passed away. Completely unexpected. My world was rocked.  One of the strongest women I know was gone. Another important person my niece and nephew will not have as they grow older.

How was I to move on?

Because I had assisted Mom with the business of death after my father passed away and then again when my grandmother passed away, I had some sort of idea of what to do when Mom passed away. I put it off a few weeks, but I knew I had to do it.  With my anxiety flaring, I made the necessary phone calls and handled all I needed to handle.

By Mom passing away in June, I had all summer to grieve and mourn. I don't know that I really did or could even tell you what I did to grieve, but it was great I had the summer and did not have to go immediately back to work with the other losses in my life.

My brother and his little family moved to Shawnee, Oklahoma. While that is a little closer, only 3.5-4 hours from me, it still didn't change the family dynamics.

The whole time I was "dealing," my body was failing me. I didn't understand and maybe it is a way my body was grieving. I don't know.  It took 18 months or more to finally diagnose me with Hashimoto's, Celiac, and Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome.  I knew my body was failing me, but I didn't know what to do or where to turn. When school started, I just took step after step, fell back into a routine, and kept going. My anxiety was becoming more of a problem, and after a situation at work in March 2016, I started my own research and sought help. With the Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome diagnosis and a change in my thyroid meds, things slowly started getting better.  It still took the rest of 2016 and into the beginning of 2017 for my body to recover and for me to think somewhat straight, but my everyday life started falling into place.

With all the changes and loss, family traditions started changing too. Do you know what it is like to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas in a hotel? Hard! Emotional! I don't wish it on anyone.

Where am I going with all this? God has placed me on this path for a reason. I have had the loss and changes to get me to where I am right now.

I have learned what it takes to get through the business of death--how to talk to companies, how to draw up Wills and Power of Attorneys, how to Probate a Will, what to expect with lawyers and courts/judges, how to find a property management company to take care of my property, how to work with a funeral home and plan a funeral, how to work with Hospice and hospitals, how to help a parent leave us and cross into Heaven, and so much more.

I also know that if God had not had my brother and his family move away from us, my life would still be intertwined with theirs and I would have no time or desire to date and move on with my life. As much as it hurts, had God not taken Granny and Mom, I would be caring for them now, and again, I would not be dating or looking to move on with my life.

I still worry about my relationship with my niece and nephew and wonder where their lives will lead. I am still quite lost when it comes to dealing with family and change.

However, a great man at church asked me out to lunch, volunteered to help me replace my shed doors, help me around my house, I said I'd help him launch his boat and go fishing, and well, the rest is history. God removed so much from my life, causing great pain and uncertainty, but He gave me an amazing man who puts me first and would do anything for me, who wants to make each day of my life better, and doesn't ever want me to be alone again.

God has amazing plans for each one of us. Throughout His plan, we find the faith to keep going and to believe, and in turn, we learn and change.

I now know about so much that I wouldn't have otherwise known. I am here to assist many when needed. I am still not the best friend or person to deal with loss or grief. I struggle like so many to say and do the right thing.  In some ways, I think it is b/c of how we deal with our own loss (or if we've dealt with it).

My life was amazing and moving along swimmingly, and then, it took a huge turn. Like I said, I still have concerns and wonders, especially when it comes to my niece and nephew, but I am now happier than I ever knew possible, and I have a man to live life with, that I never thought would happen.

2018 was busy and full of change. I am looking forward to a blessed 2019 of growing as a wife and figuring out this thing called married life. M nephew graduates from high school this year, so I am looking forward to seeing what God (and life) has in store for him.

As I come to the end of this post, I know there is so much more I could say and more connections I could make. Maybe another day.

Happy 2019, everyone!