GS Activities--I'm Torn

I am so torn in dealing with Girl Scouts this year (and last).  I started this troop along with my BFF for her daughter and my niece.  I love GS and what it stands for and does for girls.  I am living proof of the wonderfulness of the organization.  However, with my niece no longer here regularly, no longer at monthly meetings (in person or via Skype), and no longer able to join us for weekend activities, I have the absolute hardest time wanting to schedule anything (on weekends that I am available). I love my girls and GS, but without my niece here, I hurt.  I love sharing new experiences with her and teaching her things, but it is hard to do with a troop of girls when she is missing.  I continue doing the meetings, booth sales, and more, but overall, I am so torn about extra activities.

This year, I have organized it so that the girls are more responsible for the meetings.  Booth sales are going fine.  I just can't get things going outside of our once a month meetings.

I have contacted all the Brownie parents with options from our Council website.  They seem interested, so I am trying to get the parents to pick activities and split up who drives and does what.  I have done the same thing with the Juniors, but I have only heard from one parent.  I figured that if I can't take the girls then if they worked together, they could still do things if the parents take them.  We only have 2 Cadettes, so I can make a plan for them.

I want the girls to love GS and want to stay in, so I don't want my inactivity to stop that, but this is hard and weighing on me.

Several have asked about camping, but I can't take them--not without my niece.  Maybe in the future, I can get parents to get the certification needed and let them take the girls camping. I don't know.  Maybe I need to be more honest with everyone about my feelings (that I have kept bottled up inside).

I don't know.  We'll see how the rest of the year goes.