Saying Good-bye to 2015 and Hello to 2016

When 2015 began, I would never have imagined it would have encompassed all that it did.  

• I would be parentless (burying my mom) by the time summer began.
• My brother and his family would move out of state that same summer.
• I would be alone (in a sense), making the decisions I am, and trying to figure out who I am and what I'm supposed to do now.

I have noticed since June that I have become so negative.  Things just pop out of my mouth, and at times, normally at work, I don't sound like my old self.  But . . . who am I? This is an area I plan to work on this year. I have to find myself--whether it be the old me or a new me.

While the negativity has become a way of life, it seems, and not something I am happy about, if I sit and ponder, I can come up with positive moments where I have been blessed. (These are in no particular order.)

• My brother survived an accident at the end of June that could have taken his life.  He walked away with only bruises and pain b/c God protected him as the truck crossed three lanes of traffic on a busy, rainy highway during rush hour after hydroplaning and bouncing off the cement median. No one hit him miraculously.
• My niece and nephew continue to thrive and find success in school and extra curricular activities.
• My niece is is doing well with no changes in her Chiari.
• I got to chaperon a trip with my niece and nephew to Washington DC. It was a great experience and tons of fun.
• I have a great job with great people and administrators who support me and push me to be better.
• I have seen the power of prayer, support, friendship, and family through everything this year.  For this, I will always be grateful.
• I have two of the best friends anyone could ever have, and they are here for me day and night, whenever I need them. Jill and Robin are the best!
• My Moss and McDonald staffs/friends are amazing, and I will forever be grateful for them.
• First Presbyterian Church of Rockwall truly is all about Feel the Love. Be the Love.
• Friendship Baptist Church sent two men to pray with us and Mom, and within the hour, she made her journey into Heaven. These men and this act mean more than I can explain.
• I have a roof over my head, food on my table, clothes in my closet, a car to drive, and a job. I also have a sweet kitty who needs me and follows me everywhere I go.
• My Great Aunt Darlene calls to check on me nearly every night. Again, there are no words. Her love, care, and concern mean so much.  Her kids also make me feel loved and not alone.  I love this family!
• God protected me and got me home safely on December 27th. There was so much rain, high water, and a detour that could have left me trapped, hurt, or dead.  
• I was able to attend six conferences this year, so I got to see Houston, TX, The Woodlands, TX, St. Louis, MO, Austin, TX, Ft. Worth, TX, and Costa Mesa, CA. I met great people and learned a lot.
• I made it through my first start of school, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve without Mom.

A friend posted this on her Facebook page:

"Psalm 23 tells us that God prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies. I can just picture Him, making my seating arrangements at my 2015 table. Like a bride preparing for the reception dinner, He's strategically placing the name cards at my table. Sitting with me at my 2015 table is Fear, Death, Grief, Regret, Sickness, Stress, and Worry. All of them make their presence known as each course is served throughout the year.

But God also promises in that same chapter that while we are sitting among our enemies, He has anointed us, and our cup overflows. I can stand today, on January 1, 2016, and tell you this is true. During each of these events, my cup has not just been filled, but has overflowed during each course with an abundance of love, peace, protection, and grace. Relationships have been renewed and restored, financial burdens have been lifted, protection has covered us, and I could go on and on."

"My challenge to you while your 2016 table is being prepared in the presence of your enemies is to cling to His promises that your cup will surely overflow with abundance."

I could have almost written those exact words.  I really liked what she has to say, so I am adding it here.  I don't know what God has planned for me in 2016.  I don't know who will be sitting at my table this year, but with friends, family, and most importantly, God, I will face each day with faith and hope.

December Girl Scout Meeting--Service Project

One of my seventh graders planned our December meeting. Today, five of our girls worked from 1:00-8:00 making blankets and ponchos. We threw in baking cookies and brownies, and I prepared dinner. They had a blast! They made nine blankets and ten ponchos to donate.

The thing that really struck me was how mature and self-sufficient they are becoming. I helped them get organized and started, and they took off from there. I found myself sitting on the couch watching the news, preparing dinner, sending an email to their parents, snapping a few pics of them working, doing dishes, and more while they worked, talked, and enjoyed their work and company.

During dinner, we had a mature, intelligent conversation that included the topics of politics, immigration, and citizenship. While they finished their final pieces, I listened as they talked about college, careers, and middle school and high school electives. 

I am so honored and blessed to be a part of their lives.

Loss and Banks

When opening a bank account or choosing a bank to use, people don't think about loss or what happens when somone on the account dies.

When Granny passed away, we had to go talk to five different banks.  They ranged from extremely friendly, compassionate, and helpful to extremely difficult and exhausting.  Actually, three were very helpful, one was fine/pretty helpful, and one was difficult and exhausting.  Mind you, Mom or I were on all the accounts/documents.  One or both of us could work with any and all banks.  However, one bank made things difficult.  Even though we were on the accounts and had the death certificate, we had to fill out a lot of paperwork, visit the bank various times, and it took a lot of time to get everything updated. It seems like there is a lot of red tape and rules that apply.

Now, with Mom gone, I have only shared the death certificate with two banks.  One, the same difficult one as before, b/c I need to deal with the mortgage.  Again, they did not want to talk to me, even with a death certificate.  Yes, I can access the checking account, but everything else has been difficult.  They have mailed me at least three separate sets of paperwork to complete and send back.  They already have the death certificate, but they want a lot more information that I am just not ready to handle. Oh, and they won't do anything else until I have Letters of Testimony, Executor, or Administration. None of which can I get without Probating the Will, which takes money I can't touch at said bank.  Crazy!  I'm glad the other bank accepted my word the first time and the death certificate the second time.  I was able to get what I needed.

Now, do not take any of this to think I have tons of money.  No, it is taking every cent I have. Granny assisted us when she was alive, and she is helping us again now. Loss takes a lot of money,  and if you can't access it, you are in trouble.  Take care of paperwork now so that you can handle business later.

Loss

I have talked about loss on here before, but this time, I want to talk about handling the death of a loved one.  Personally, I have lost all my great grandparents, grandparents, two great uncles, an uncle, my father, and now my mother.  I have seen and experienced loss.  Each one impacted me differently.  Some I dealt with fairly quickly, but others took months and even years to process.  One . . . I'm still processing and will for quite some time.

Granny passed away at home, and I was the one to follow the ambulance to the hospital to make final decisions, talk to the ME, and more. I had to take the lead on planning her funeral because Mom was in rehab with a broken ankle.  I assisted Mom with all the paperwork and important business b/c I was the Executer of the Will.

I learned a lot going through the process when Dad passed away--decisions we had to make, planning the funeral, buying cemetery plots for the family, and handling business afterward.  I learned even more when Granny passed away.  Even with all that experience, it was not enough to prepare me for Mom passing away and being the Executer of her Will.

Here are a few tips that might help you if you ever have to deal with the business left after a loved one passes away.

What should you do before you pass away to help your loved ones?

Write a Will
-My favorite line in Granny's Will said something about "If anyone questions the Will or decisions made, they will receive nothing."  That wasn't the exact wording, but it is close.
-Make sure the Executer of the Will or someone you trust knows where your Will is when time comes.
-Update your Will. Some write one when they are young or first married.  Time passes, things change, and Wills need to be updated.

Important Documents
-Bank Accounts, Safe Deposit Boxes/Keys, and other documents must be in a spot where the Executer of the Will or someone you trust can find them.
-Those planning the funeral will have to be able to get to money, so those accounts have to be available.
-Do you have insurance policies?  They need to know about these.

Funeral
-Plan your funeral and leave those plans where your loved ones can find them.
-Who do you want to officiate?  Music? Location? Burial? Sermon? Scripture? Flowers?
-Funerals cost money. How will yours be paid for?

Money
-Loss costs money. Money for the funeral, bills, flowers, food, survival, and more.
-Where will this money come from when you are gone and your loved ones are trying to plan and more forward?
-With a loss, families go from two paychecks to one. Some lose the one making the money. How will they move forward?

Automobiles and Mortgages
-Did you know you can pay monthly for a policy that when you pass away, these items are payed off? -Look into it.  How are your loved ones going to pay for automobiles or pay the mortgage?

Accounts
-If you are single, you have to put someone on your accounts.  They have to be able to handle your business when you are gone.

Property
-Houses and property have upkeep. Who will help cut grass, trim trees and shrubs, and more?

Probate
-I don't know the law in every state, but in mine, you have to Probate the Will and have specific documents to move forward with business. This cannot start until 30 days after death, and the process then takes 60 days.
-What money is available during this time?
-Probate is costly.


How can you help someone who has lost a loved one?
My friends, family, and co-worers have been amazing.  I receive phone calls, texts, and emails daily from at least one person just checking on me. My BFF has invited me over for Father's Day and Independence Day, two days I would have been home alone.

Set your calendar to check on your friend or loved one every week, two weeks, or month.  
-They need support after the funeral. More than a week or month after the loss.  It is on-going.
-Invite them to lunch or dinner.
-Don't forget about them, especially if they are now alone.

Do not go to those trying to survive asking questions about the Will, items you want, or about inheritance.  
-Those dealing with loss are not in the mindset to deal with what you want.  You must give them time, and a week or month is not nearly enough time. Period. They are doing the best they can to survive.
-Be respectful of their feelings and time needed.

Don't forget them. 
-Sometimes, when someone loses a loved one, they continue to have family around and loved ones to fill their days.  Other times, the loss leaves them alone.  Don't let them be alone.

Just show up.
-Not sure how to help?  They keep telling you they are fine?  Just show up.
Go cut the grass, weed eat, or trim trees.
-Take them a meal.
-Go over and offer to dust or do laundry.
-Drop off a gift card for food, groceries, or gas.
-Go over and sit and talk.

I'm sure, once I post this, I will think of several more things.  Each day is a new learning experience.  What company will call?  With what doctor did she have an appointment?  Be patient with yourself.  Work at your pace. Don't make any major decisions for a year.

Going to the Theater

My amazing Great Aunt gave me her two tickets to see Dirty Dancing on stage during the Summer Musicals.  I invited my BFF and off we went, and we had the best time.

The moves and most of the lines were exactly like the movie.  However, they added a storyline involving the Civil Rights Movement.  It was fine and worked, but it was just different.  They had a male and female singer who sang a few of the songs, which I love in the movie.  I tell you . . . that guy can sing to me any time.  He has a beautiful bass voice, and I loved it.

It was a little sad thinking about Patrick Swayze and Jerry Orbach not being in it.  :-(

Thank you, Aunt Darlene!  We had a great time!!

Independence Day and Amazing Helpers

Happy Independence Day!

My Great Aunt and cousins invited me for lunch for brisket and the fixings.  The food was great and the company was wonderful!

My BFF's husband and son came over to help me with my yard.  I can do the mowing.  I have run a mower since I was 7, but I need help with weed eating, trimming trees and shrubs, and hauling off junk and trash.  Her awesome husband tackled the weed eating and mowing a strip of land I have behind my back fence while her son and I trimmed shrubs and cleaned up junk/trash and then hauled trash can after trash can to the curb.

For the first time, we saw a snake.  I'm so glad her husband was here when it slithered out and to the yard behind us.  (It is hard to see.)

Her son and I watched a crawdad/crayfish in the far back yard while her husband cut that strip of land.  I have seen their little houses/holes my whole life, but I have never seen an actual critter back there.  Well, we got one to come out of the hole and played with it.

I will forever be grateful to Tim and Connor Culmo for all their help today. They didn't have to, but they did.  They have no idea what it means to me.

I ended the day with my BFF and her family. Her mom invited me over for BBQ and fireworks.  I had such a nice time. I am so thankful to them for including me.  It really means so much to me. (I am not thankful for the chigger and mosquito bites.  Ha ha!)

Run for God Virtual Summer Race 2015

Today was the day--Run for God's Summer Virtual Race.  I entered this months ago, so I couldn't not do it. I decided that I would break it in half.  I walked to Curves, worked out, and walked back.  Got more than my 5K completed and a workout.

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all the males out there who play an important role in the lives of children.

Like Mother's Day, not all males have had the opportunity to father a child, and I can imagine this day is a little sad for them.

For others, they have lost their father.

This is my 12th Father's Day without my dad.  Honestly, I am not sure what my thoughts or feelings are on that. I don't know if I can put them into words.

Prayers to everyone having a difficult day today.

My sweet BFF and her mom invited me over for dinner.  It was great being around friends today.  I hated to intrude on their family, but they were so sweet to include me.

Good-bye, Mom!

Today, we celebrated Mom's life with a nice funeral and graveside service.

Sickness, Decisions, and Good-bye

On Tuesday, I took Mom to the ER in a local town. What I didn't know at the time was that her Platelets and White Blood Cells were all but zero and her Red Blood Cells were almost that low.  The hospital couldn't care for her without a room in their ICU, so they CareFlighted her to the large hospital in another neighboring city.  She was doing fine, talking, etc.  They put her in ICU and gave her around 12 bags of Platelets and at least 2 bags of blood.  She was tired and sick, but she was fighting and hanging on.

On Wednesday, she was weak, but she was still mentally fine, talking when she could, and fighting. My brother came in, and we were on the same page with decisions.  However, we had absolutely no idea that time was running out.  We seriously thought we had months.  The doctors and nurses were amazing, caring, honest, and compassionate.

On Thursday, we were told that her numbers were not coming up and that her kidneys were failing.  Dialysis was not going to be an option.  Again, the doctors and nurses were wonderful.  Again, we didn't realize the time frame.  Mom talked to my niece and nephew--knowing exactly what they were doing, making perfect sense with her questions, etc.  The conversations sounded so normal and not anything like where we were headed.  When we left the hospital that night, they were moving her to a regular room to get some rest and would have Social Services meet with us on Friday.

On Friday morning, we talked with Mom. I could see her breathing was different.  We talked to Social Services and were lining up Hospice.  A prayer team from my Great Aunt's church came and prayed over her and with us.  After they left and before the Hospice nurse arrived, Mom passed away.

It happened so fast.  We thought we at least had a few days.  We had no idea we had minutes.
We had no idea it would happen like this. She went peacefully with my brother and I at her side talking to her.

We greatly appreciate your prayers during this time and for months to come.  I worry about my niece and nephew and them forgetting her.  Not having her there for all their big events.

Have I Lost My Mind?

Have I lost my mind?  I just agreed to be the Service Unit Manager for our local Girl Scout Service Unit.

I have been the Troop Organizer and Registrar, but never a position like this.  It will be a learning experience.  I hope everyone is patient with me.

Sewing with Girl Scouts--May Meeting

My heart swelled, yet broke slightly, at our monthly Girl Scout meeting tonight.  The girls have been discussing Bronze and Silver Award projects, and they decided to make blankets and pillows for local hospitals.  I could not come up with something "fun" for the meeting, so I decided we would start with the project.  I bought 4 pieces of light fleece to make tie blankets, and Mom found some pieces of material to sew and make pillow cases.  We realized we didn't have the stuffing, but we can do that later.  I showed the girls how to cut and tie the blankets while she showed them how to sew a simple stitch/hem with the sewing machine.  The first girl, who took to it quickly and easily, happens to have the same name as my niece.  All I could think was . . . this should be my niece and her grandmother sewing together.  Maybe some day it will be, but at the rate we are going, it won't.  My heart broke slightly at this sight and thought.  However, I was excited that both of us could share these skills with three (only three came tonight) beautiful young ladies.

Reading and Struggling Readers

Our 8th graders had to pass this year's state assessment to move on to 9th grade.  If they fail the first test, they receive two more chances.  Between the first and second tests, we pulled the students from electives to give them extra help.  I had the privilege of working with 12 ladies and gentlemen.

The first day, I had them do a reading interest survey to help me find out a little bit about them.  We actually did very little involving reading skills as I wanted to build relationships with them.  I learned that most don't have books in the home, and most had only read one book in the last year.  The more I read their answers, the sadder I got.

Over the next 11 days, we worked on various things, but the one that that repeated daily was their lack of desire to read and their absolute disdain for reading.  It saddened me.

On our last day together, I finally had a great idea.  I checked out a lot of children's books from our campus library.  We don't have a large assortment, but we had several and some great ones.  I showed the students each book, said the title, and told them a little bit about the book.  I had used to some sentence stems to create questions they could do with any book to practice the skills they needed.  They could work individually or in pairs.  Each student or pair chose a book.  Next thing I knew, they were reading.  Reading silently.  Reading to one another.  Listening to someone read to them. Working. Practicing.  THEY WERE READING!!  I nearly cried.  Why didn't I think of this sooner?  I will next year.

Thoughts as I Approach 40

You know when you are young . . . you dream about your future and make plans and/or set goals.  I remember thinking I would meet my Mr. Right during college, marry soon after graduation, and have at least one, if not two, children by the age of 30 or 35, at the latest.  I figured I'd teach at the same school where I was first hired and stay there until retirement. By the time I was to turn 40, I would be happily married with a great little family and working with a great group of people. My home would have a library and an office, and it would be filled with love.  I think I thought that was God's plan for me, but I have learned that God had a different plan.  However, I worry that I have sabotaged God's plan and how my life has turned out has really been more about my choices than His.  

Have you seen Under the Tuscan Sun?  Toward the end, she is feeling low, and her friend reminds her that when she bought the house, she wanted to do three things with the hoe.  She wanted to raise a family, host a wedding, and one other thing I have forgotten.  The things she wanted, she did receive, but they weren't for her personally. (She was helping her friend raise her child, and she hosted the wedding of the neighbor girl and young man who worked on her home.) That is the revelation I have had this week as I approach my 40th birthday.

I have no Mr. Right.  Yeah, I haven't met him yet (that I know of), and maybe I am not meant to marry. I keep talking to God about this.

I have no children of my own, but God allowed me to be extremely involved in the lives of my nephew and niece the first 11 & 9 years of their lives.  Years, experiences, and memories I will treasure always. Experiences I miss. Through them, I got to enjoy school programs and parties, extra curricular activities, coming home to the open arms and smiling faces of two amazing cuties, and so much more. Not one experience or opportunity did I take for granted.

I didn't stay at the first school where I was hired.  No, I changed schools/districts my 2nd year, and during my 10 years there, I met some of the most amazing people who helped sculpt me into who I am as an educator and person. I went on to get my Masters and Doctorate, which had me meeting many more amazing people, and this led me to a district position that taught me a lot, gave me many new experiences, and continued to sculpt me into the educator I am. State and district decisions led me to a life changing decision that led me to another school and new experience that has stretched me and taught me even more.  Who knows where my professional life will end up? I do have to say . . . the experiences that I have had and the people I have met . . . I never would have dreamed.

I live in a home that I absolutely love in a town I love, even though I hate that it is growing so much, and yes, I do have a library and office space.  :-)

I've buried loved ones and purchased cemetery plots, which is something that truly impacts you.

I have two friends who are with me through everything, no matter the event, time of day, or insanity.  I have amazing co-workers, present and past, and another set of friends I could call on if needed. I have a family that loves me. I have a roof over my head and income each month.

Is my life where I expected it to be when I turned 40?  Nope.  Is it better? I don't know about better, but it is the life that has made me the person I am . . . for better or worse.

Another thought . . .

What makes a great birthday?  I see more and more people making it a birthday weekend or birthday week.  Others go on big trips.  Me? Yeah, I go to work and maybe dinner.  I have no idea what I would even want to do. I guess for me, I am here to live it, and I get to see some special people (maybe not all of them, but some), and the day ends up being pretty OK. I think I will ponder this a little longer.

Mom and Aunt Darlene took me to dinner and enjoyed gluten free cupcakes with me.  Thanks, ladies!

(We laughed hysterically as we tried to take selfies with a digital camera (not a phone).)

April Girl Scout Meeting

Tonight, we finished our Buddy Burners and cooked breakfast burritos.

You just need a large can.  Use a church key or bottle opener to poke three holes along the open end of the can and three more on the opposite side near the closed end of the can.  Light your burner, set your can on top, and cook.

Pics to come . . .

March Girl Scout Meeting

I got the crazy idea to teach our girls how to use Buddy Burners.  I had hoped my cafeteria manager would have the cans I needed to do this, but they weren't ready, so today, we only made the burners.  Next month, we will actually cook.

Buddy Burners are great for Scouts and families to use when at camp or in the backyard.

Tonight, we layered strips of cardboard with dryer lint.  A few layers of each is all you need.  You then roll it so it looks like a spiral and drop it into a tuna and cat food can.  Melt wax on your stove.  Pour it over the cardboard and lint.  Let it dry.

Next month, we will use these as the fire/heat source to cook.

Spring Break 2015

I can't believe we are already halfway through March and finishing up Spring Break.  Time is flying way too fast.  It has been a nice week.  Is our time off ever long enough?

Saturday, March 7th
I spent the morning with three Writing teachers working with a group of students on their writing skills.  I can't wait to read their final papers that they are to bring back after Spring Break.  It was truly a great morning of working with students and perfecting writing. I even took some time to write a draft using their prompt and their strategies.  Now, for me to finish my paper.

My mom got home with my niece and nephew.  I'm so excited to spend some time with them in our neck of the woods.

Sunday, March 8th--Girl Scout Sunday
Check out this Cadette Girl Scout who got to join me at church this morning.

With the kids home, they get to pick what we do and where we eat.  I give them the planning power.  Since they were infants, we have made them a part of our daily planning and events.  Now, as a teen and preteen, they know how to plan a day.

Monday, March 9th
Today, we got tickets to the Perot Museum.  We had to figure out which day still had tickets available, so it went into the plans for today.  They have a traveling exhibit on Sir Conan Doyle and Sherlock Holmes, so we checked it out.  It was very interesting, and we enjoyed solving the crime.

My nephew has read The Outsiders for school, so I introduced him to the movie.  You know the one.  The one with all the cute guys from the 80s.  :-) My niece said she didn't want to see it until she read it.  Of course, my copies of the book are at work, so it will be a little longer before she reads it.  We didn't actually see the end of the movie b/c he wanted to keep the book's ending in his mind rather than the movie's.  I loved discussing the book and movie with them.

Tuesday, March 10th
Today, they wanted to go to the Dallas Zoo.  When deciding on the zoo to attend, my adorable niece wanted to go to the zoo with the most animals.  Well, I compared the Ft. Worth and Dallas Zoos.  I'm not sure about the number of animals, but the Dallas Zoo is older and larger by acreage.

We have gotten their picture taken on this tortoise every time we have gone to the zoo.  

I wish I could find the first one to do a comparison.

Wednesday, March 11th
Because my nephew had so much homework to complete over Spring Break, he requested to go back by tonight.  We asked all the way back if they wanted to visit anywhere--Cameron Zoo (Waco), Dr. Pepper Museum, anything in Austin, etc.  They just wanted McDonald's for lunch and to spend time together.  When we got them back, we had dinner and then had them finish all their homework.  With it done, we can do something fun on Thursday.

Thursday, March 12th--Girl Scout's 103rd Birthday
Before Mom and I left to head home, we wanted to do one last fun thing, so we went to the Natural Bridge Wildlife Ranch.  I have never seen so many people there.

When we finished, we went to have a burger/hot dog and fries and finished with custard to celebrate Girl Scout Birthday.

Friday, March 13th
Mom has a serious cold, so she has rested.  After going to Curves, my 200th visit (Woohoo!!), I did chores around the house.

Saturday, March 14th--Pi Day
Happy Pi Day!  Will you be eating pie today? What were you doing on 3.1415 at 9:26?  I was walking into Curves for my 201st workout.

Unexpected Snow Day (Just Before Spring Break)

Today brought the fourth most snow ever recorded for March in our little neck of the woods.  It brought an unexpected day off of work too.  I spent it working on tests for the grade level/curriculum I assist in writing.  It was all just so beautiful.  The pictures just don't do it justice.

Standing my street looking at my house

Kitty staying warm. 

The view out my back door from my writing spot.

I took a little break to go enjoy the snow.  

I even made a snow angel.  

The first one in probably 30 years!