Saying Good-bye to 2015 and Hello to 2016

When 2015 began, I would never have imagined it would have encompassed all that it did.  

• I would be parentless (burying my mom) by the time summer began.
• My brother and his family would move out of state that same summer.
• I would be alone (in a sense), making the decisions I am, and trying to figure out who I am and what I'm supposed to do now.

I have noticed since June that I have become so negative.  Things just pop out of my mouth, and at times, normally at work, I don't sound like my old self.  But . . . who am I? This is an area I plan to work on this year. I have to find myself--whether it be the old me or a new me.

While the negativity has become a way of life, it seems, and not something I am happy about, if I sit and ponder, I can come up with positive moments where I have been blessed. (These are in no particular order.)

• My brother survived an accident at the end of June that could have taken his life.  He walked away with only bruises and pain b/c God protected him as the truck crossed three lanes of traffic on a busy, rainy highway during rush hour after hydroplaning and bouncing off the cement median. No one hit him miraculously.
• My niece and nephew continue to thrive and find success in school and extra curricular activities.
• My niece is is doing well with no changes in her Chiari.
• I got to chaperon a trip with my niece and nephew to Washington DC. It was a great experience and tons of fun.
• I have a great job with great people and administrators who support me and push me to be better.
• I have seen the power of prayer, support, friendship, and family through everything this year.  For this, I will always be grateful.
• I have two of the best friends anyone could ever have, and they are here for me day and night, whenever I need them. Jill and Robin are the best!
• My Moss and McDonald staffs/friends are amazing, and I will forever be grateful for them.
• First Presbyterian Church of Rockwall truly is all about Feel the Love. Be the Love.
• Friendship Baptist Church sent two men to pray with us and Mom, and within the hour, she made her journey into Heaven. These men and this act mean more than I can explain.
• I have a roof over my head, food on my table, clothes in my closet, a car to drive, and a job. I also have a sweet kitty who needs me and follows me everywhere I go.
• My Great Aunt Darlene calls to check on me nearly every night. Again, there are no words. Her love, care, and concern mean so much.  Her kids also make me feel loved and not alone.  I love this family!
• God protected me and got me home safely on December 27th. There was so much rain, high water, and a detour that could have left me trapped, hurt, or dead.  
• I was able to attend six conferences this year, so I got to see Houston, TX, The Woodlands, TX, St. Louis, MO, Austin, TX, Ft. Worth, TX, and Costa Mesa, CA. I met great people and learned a lot.
• I made it through my first start of school, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve without Mom.

A friend posted this on her Facebook page:

"Psalm 23 tells us that God prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies. I can just picture Him, making my seating arrangements at my 2015 table. Like a bride preparing for the reception dinner, He's strategically placing the name cards at my table. Sitting with me at my 2015 table is Fear, Death, Grief, Regret, Sickness, Stress, and Worry. All of them make their presence known as each course is served throughout the year.

But God also promises in that same chapter that while we are sitting among our enemies, He has anointed us, and our cup overflows. I can stand today, on January 1, 2016, and tell you this is true. During each of these events, my cup has not just been filled, but has overflowed during each course with an abundance of love, peace, protection, and grace. Relationships have been renewed and restored, financial burdens have been lifted, protection has covered us, and I could go on and on."

"My challenge to you while your 2016 table is being prepared in the presence of your enemies is to cling to His promises that your cup will surely overflow with abundance."

I could have almost written those exact words.  I really liked what she has to say, so I am adding it here.  I don't know what God has planned for me in 2016.  I don't know who will be sitting at my table this year, but with friends, family, and most importantly, God, I will face each day with faith and hope.

Loss

I have talked about loss on here before, but this time, I want to talk about handling the death of a loved one.  Personally, I have lost all my great grandparents, grandparents, two great uncles, an uncle, my father, and now my mother.  I have seen and experienced loss.  Each one impacted me differently.  Some I dealt with fairly quickly, but others took months and even years to process.  One . . . I'm still processing and will for quite some time.

Granny passed away at home, and I was the one to follow the ambulance to the hospital to make final decisions, talk to the ME, and more. I had to take the lead on planning her funeral because Mom was in rehab with a broken ankle.  I assisted Mom with all the paperwork and important business b/c I was the Executer of the Will.

I learned a lot going through the process when Dad passed away--decisions we had to make, planning the funeral, buying cemetery plots for the family, and handling business afterward.  I learned even more when Granny passed away.  Even with all that experience, it was not enough to prepare me for Mom passing away and being the Executer of her Will.

Here are a few tips that might help you if you ever have to deal with the business left after a loved one passes away.

What should you do before you pass away to help your loved ones?

Write a Will
-My favorite line in Granny's Will said something about "If anyone questions the Will or decisions made, they will receive nothing."  That wasn't the exact wording, but it is close.
-Make sure the Executer of the Will or someone you trust knows where your Will is when time comes.
-Update your Will. Some write one when they are young or first married.  Time passes, things change, and Wills need to be updated.

Important Documents
-Bank Accounts, Safe Deposit Boxes/Keys, and other documents must be in a spot where the Executer of the Will or someone you trust can find them.
-Those planning the funeral will have to be able to get to money, so those accounts have to be available.
-Do you have insurance policies?  They need to know about these.

Funeral
-Plan your funeral and leave those plans where your loved ones can find them.
-Who do you want to officiate?  Music? Location? Burial? Sermon? Scripture? Flowers?
-Funerals cost money. How will yours be paid for?

Money
-Loss costs money. Money for the funeral, bills, flowers, food, survival, and more.
-Where will this money come from when you are gone and your loved ones are trying to plan and more forward?
-With a loss, families go from two paychecks to one. Some lose the one making the money. How will they move forward?

Automobiles and Mortgages
-Did you know you can pay monthly for a policy that when you pass away, these items are payed off? -Look into it.  How are your loved ones going to pay for automobiles or pay the mortgage?

Accounts
-If you are single, you have to put someone on your accounts.  They have to be able to handle your business when you are gone.

Property
-Houses and property have upkeep. Who will help cut grass, trim trees and shrubs, and more?

Probate
-I don't know the law in every state, but in mine, you have to Probate the Will and have specific documents to move forward with business. This cannot start until 30 days after death, and the process then takes 60 days.
-What money is available during this time?
-Probate is costly.


How can you help someone who has lost a loved one?
My friends, family, and co-worers have been amazing.  I receive phone calls, texts, and emails daily from at least one person just checking on me. My BFF has invited me over for Father's Day and Independence Day, two days I would have been home alone.

Set your calendar to check on your friend or loved one every week, two weeks, or month.  
-They need support after the funeral. More than a week or month after the loss.  It is on-going.
-Invite them to lunch or dinner.
-Don't forget about them, especially if they are now alone.

Do not go to those trying to survive asking questions about the Will, items you want, or about inheritance.  
-Those dealing with loss are not in the mindset to deal with what you want.  You must give them time, and a week or month is not nearly enough time. Period. They are doing the best they can to survive.
-Be respectful of their feelings and time needed.

Don't forget them. 
-Sometimes, when someone loses a loved one, they continue to have family around and loved ones to fill their days.  Other times, the loss leaves them alone.  Don't let them be alone.

Just show up.
-Not sure how to help?  They keep telling you they are fine?  Just show up.
Go cut the grass, weed eat, or trim trees.
-Take them a meal.
-Go over and offer to dust or do laundry.
-Drop off a gift card for food, groceries, or gas.
-Go over and sit and talk.

I'm sure, once I post this, I will think of several more things.  Each day is a new learning experience.  What company will call?  With what doctor did she have an appointment?  Be patient with yourself.  Work at your pace. Don't make any major decisions for a year.

Going to the Theater

My amazing Great Aunt gave me her two tickets to see Dirty Dancing on stage during the Summer Musicals.  I invited my BFF and off we went, and we had the best time.

The moves and most of the lines were exactly like the movie.  However, they added a storyline involving the Civil Rights Movement.  It was fine and worked, but it was just different.  They had a male and female singer who sang a few of the songs, which I love in the movie.  I tell you . . . that guy can sing to me any time.  He has a beautiful bass voice, and I loved it.

It was a little sad thinking about Patrick Swayze and Jerry Orbach not being in it.  :-(

Thank you, Aunt Darlene!  We had a great time!!

Sickness, Decisions, and Good-bye

On Tuesday, I took Mom to the ER in a local town. What I didn't know at the time was that her Platelets and White Blood Cells were all but zero and her Red Blood Cells were almost that low.  The hospital couldn't care for her without a room in their ICU, so they CareFlighted her to the large hospital in another neighboring city.  She was doing fine, talking, etc.  They put her in ICU and gave her around 12 bags of Platelets and at least 2 bags of blood.  She was tired and sick, but she was fighting and hanging on.

On Wednesday, she was weak, but she was still mentally fine, talking when she could, and fighting. My brother came in, and we were on the same page with decisions.  However, we had absolutely no idea that time was running out.  We seriously thought we had months.  The doctors and nurses were amazing, caring, honest, and compassionate.

On Thursday, we were told that her numbers were not coming up and that her kidneys were failing.  Dialysis was not going to be an option.  Again, the doctors and nurses were wonderful.  Again, we didn't realize the time frame.  Mom talked to my niece and nephew--knowing exactly what they were doing, making perfect sense with her questions, etc.  The conversations sounded so normal and not anything like where we were headed.  When we left the hospital that night, they were moving her to a regular room to get some rest and would have Social Services meet with us on Friday.

On Friday morning, we talked with Mom. I could see her breathing was different.  We talked to Social Services and were lining up Hospice.  A prayer team from my Great Aunt's church came and prayed over her and with us.  After they left and before the Hospice nurse arrived, Mom passed away.

It happened so fast.  We thought we at least had a few days.  We had no idea we had minutes.
We had no idea it would happen like this. She went peacefully with my brother and I at her side talking to her.

We greatly appreciate your prayers during this time and for months to come.  I worry about my niece and nephew and them forgetting her.  Not having her there for all their big events.

Spring Break 2015

I can't believe we are already halfway through March and finishing up Spring Break.  Time is flying way too fast.  It has been a nice week.  Is our time off ever long enough?

Saturday, March 7th
I spent the morning with three Writing teachers working with a group of students on their writing skills.  I can't wait to read their final papers that they are to bring back after Spring Break.  It was truly a great morning of working with students and perfecting writing. I even took some time to write a draft using their prompt and their strategies.  Now, for me to finish my paper.

My mom got home with my niece and nephew.  I'm so excited to spend some time with them in our neck of the woods.

Sunday, March 8th--Girl Scout Sunday
Check out this Cadette Girl Scout who got to join me at church this morning.

With the kids home, they get to pick what we do and where we eat.  I give them the planning power.  Since they were infants, we have made them a part of our daily planning and events.  Now, as a teen and preteen, they know how to plan a day.

Monday, March 9th
Today, we got tickets to the Perot Museum.  We had to figure out which day still had tickets available, so it went into the plans for today.  They have a traveling exhibit on Sir Conan Doyle and Sherlock Holmes, so we checked it out.  It was very interesting, and we enjoyed solving the crime.

My nephew has read The Outsiders for school, so I introduced him to the movie.  You know the one.  The one with all the cute guys from the 80s.  :-) My niece said she didn't want to see it until she read it.  Of course, my copies of the book are at work, so it will be a little longer before she reads it.  We didn't actually see the end of the movie b/c he wanted to keep the book's ending in his mind rather than the movie's.  I loved discussing the book and movie with them.

Tuesday, March 10th
Today, they wanted to go to the Dallas Zoo.  When deciding on the zoo to attend, my adorable niece wanted to go to the zoo with the most animals.  Well, I compared the Ft. Worth and Dallas Zoos.  I'm not sure about the number of animals, but the Dallas Zoo is older and larger by acreage.

We have gotten their picture taken on this tortoise every time we have gone to the zoo.  

I wish I could find the first one to do a comparison.

Wednesday, March 11th
Because my nephew had so much homework to complete over Spring Break, he requested to go back by tonight.  We asked all the way back if they wanted to visit anywhere--Cameron Zoo (Waco), Dr. Pepper Museum, anything in Austin, etc.  They just wanted McDonald's for lunch and to spend time together.  When we got them back, we had dinner and then had them finish all their homework.  With it done, we can do something fun on Thursday.

Thursday, March 12th--Girl Scout's 103rd Birthday
Before Mom and I left to head home, we wanted to do one last fun thing, so we went to the Natural Bridge Wildlife Ranch.  I have never seen so many people there.

When we finished, we went to have a burger/hot dog and fries and finished with custard to celebrate Girl Scout Birthday.

Friday, March 13th
Mom has a serious cold, so she has rested.  After going to Curves, my 200th visit (Woohoo!!), I did chores around the house.

Saturday, March 14th--Pi Day
Happy Pi Day!  Will you be eating pie today? What were you doing on 3.1415 at 9:26?  I was walking into Curves for my 201st workout.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

How are you spending the first day of 2015?

I started the day walking 2.5 miles for the 2015 #100DaysOfMiles challenge.

We have eaten our black-eyed peas, cabbage, and cornbread.

We have not watched any football.  Once in my life, I lived for college football.  I watched several games over the break and loved them.  I once thought I could see myself married to a coach (middle or high school or even college). Now, I'm not so into it.  I could be again, I guess.

There has been a lot of lounging around, but I have not taken a nap yet.  I really could use one though.

I hope you are having an amazing start to the new year!

Happy New Year's Eve!

Happy New Year's Eve!

How do you spend the last day of the year?

I am not a partier.  I am normally home, watching movies or one of the shows showing celebrations around the country, and snacking.  When I was little, I would spend the night with my paternal great grandmother and we would watch the ball drop.  Other than staying with her, I can probably count on one hand the number of times I was not at my own house relaxing on New Year's Eve.  Tonight, I know I won't make it until midnight.

How do you feel about ending the year and starting a new one?

Many people look at it as ending one chapter and starting another or wiping the slate clean to begin anew. I don't see it that way.  Maybe it is because I am in education, and our year runs August to August instead of January to December.  I can't just wipe the slate clean and start anew when I am in the middle of a professional year.

Sometimes, I just want to ignore the idea of ending and beginning and just think of it as another day.  I don't set goals or create resolutions, so really the day is just like any other.  Looking back can be sad or joyous, depending on the year.  Looking ahead can be scary because of the unknown.

One of my BFFs posted the following:

I really struggle with this, so this is a verse I plan to revisit this year.  I have faith and believe in God.  He is in control, and all things happen through Him.  He knows His plan for me (and family members), and I need to let go of my plans and let His prevail.

This goes back to what I wrote earlier in this post.  I guess my professional book begins each August, but my personal book can begin each January 1st.  I wonder what God has in store for me this year.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from my family to yours!

My amazing niece and nephew with me on the last seat of the train at the zoo.

My talented niece and nephew with my wonderful mom on Christmas Eve.

Girl Scout Camping 2014

I didn't realize it until we returned, but with 10-12 days to go before Christmas, we took 9 amazing young ladies Girl Scout camping.  We had the best time!  They created their SWAP on Friday night, which was connected to their Scouts Own ceremony. They participated in a flag ceremony first thing Saturday morning, did a team building activity, had a great time with archery, learned about structures and bridges with Mad Science, and did a great job with a skit before making S'mores on Saturday evening. They led the camp in a Scouts Own first thing Sunday morning and then went hiking in the drizzle before breaking camp.  It was just the best camping experience!

Our girls 

(some were not able to join us for camping)

Team Building

Archery

Structures/Bridges

After our Scouts Own

After our final hike

I love this picture of my niece and me!

Thanksgiving Break 2014 and Toys for Tots 5K

We had a great Thanksgiving Break.  I have had this feeling that keeps me thinking . . . what if this is our last Thanksgiving with Mom.  Tomorrow isn't promised, and we have no idea what a year will bring, so I have decided to live up each holiday, moment, etc.  This may all be made up in my mind, but it is still a feeling/thought I have.

We went to spend several days with my niece, nephew, brother, and sister-in-law.

On Tuesday, after we arrived, we enjoyed a great dinner and went shopping for all the groceries needed for our Thanksgiving lunch.  We also picked up the last of the Science Fair project materials.

On Wednesday, we decided we weren't going anywhere until both Science Fair projects were completed.  Both needed to do the experiment portion, but they had the majority of the write-up finished.  By the time we left for lunch, they had done their experiments, finished their typing, and printed off their pages to put on their boards.  We then went to lunch and ran several errands and picked up a few Christmas gifts.  We also picked up the turkey, ham, dressing, gravy, cranberry sauce, and rolls, which we ordered from Luby's.  We find ordering the larger pieces makes things so much easier.  We ended our day with my niece making two pie crusts almost from scratch and then the two pie fillings.  My niece loves to bake, and I love to watch and help.  This time, I helped, but Mom helped even more.  I loved watching the two of them.  My niece loves Pumpkin Pudding Pie, which she learned in 1st grade from her teacher when they made it in class.  She also tried Pioneer Woman's Chocolate Pie, but in the end, it did not turn out.  We will try it again another day.

The kids did a great job helping to cook Thanksgiving lunch.  I realized days later that I never took any Thanksgiving Day pics.  Here is one of my nephew with the green bean casserole that he made.

On Friday morning, our first task was to go to Walmart to get the pics I had printed.  We needed them for their Science Fair projects.

Here is their finished work:

On Friday evening, my nephew was to volunteer with his Young Marine group to put out chairs, usher, and pick-up chairs at the San Antonio's Holiday River Parade & Lighting Ceremony.  My brother signed up my niece, Mom, and me to help.  This got us free lunch from a food truck, free viewing of the parade, and free dinner.  They will also get to attend a dinner in a few weeks put on from the sponsored for their gratitude toward volunteers.  While we worked hard to set-up hundreds of chairs, it was great helping people, meeting new people, and watching the parade.  It was a fun evening!

 These are just a few of the parade pics.

One of my favorite scenes was looking over to see Mom and my niece watching the parade together.  My niece had the program and was reading about the floats/companies as they entered our viewing area.

This morning, we woke up and got dressed as fast as possible to be at the Toys for Tots 5K by 8:00.  We made it just after 8.  Whew!  My nephew and his Young Marines group led the opening ceremony with the flags and National Anthem.  They also helped with the water station.  My niece agreed to do the Fun Run with me.  Yea!  It wound up being a 4K, and there were no more than 25 runners/walkers.  It was the weirdest thing I've ever experienced.  All the 5Ks I've done have had thousands of people.  This one had 25 max!  We were the only walkers, so we only did one of the two laps. I hated the thought of everyone being finished and us still out there.  My niece was great, seemed to enjoy it, and was happy to stop after one lap.  My niece and nephew have both agreed to do a Color Run with me at some point.

We celebrated at Starbucks with Frappuccino and Hot Chocolate.

It was a great break, and I absolutely hated leaving.