Good-bye, Mom!

Today, we celebrated Mom's life with a nice funeral and graveside service.

Sickness, Decisions, and Good-bye

On Tuesday, I took Mom to the ER in a local town. What I didn't know at the time was that her Platelets and White Blood Cells were all but zero and her Red Blood Cells were almost that low.  The hospital couldn't care for her without a room in their ICU, so they CareFlighted her to the large hospital in another neighboring city.  She was doing fine, talking, etc.  They put her in ICU and gave her around 12 bags of Platelets and at least 2 bags of blood.  She was tired and sick, but she was fighting and hanging on.

On Wednesday, she was weak, but she was still mentally fine, talking when she could, and fighting. My brother came in, and we were on the same page with decisions.  However, we had absolutely no idea that time was running out.  We seriously thought we had months.  The doctors and nurses were amazing, caring, honest, and compassionate.

On Thursday, we were told that her numbers were not coming up and that her kidneys were failing.  Dialysis was not going to be an option.  Again, the doctors and nurses were wonderful.  Again, we didn't realize the time frame.  Mom talked to my niece and nephew--knowing exactly what they were doing, making perfect sense with her questions, etc.  The conversations sounded so normal and not anything like where we were headed.  When we left the hospital that night, they were moving her to a regular room to get some rest and would have Social Services meet with us on Friday.

On Friday morning, we talked with Mom. I could see her breathing was different.  We talked to Social Services and were lining up Hospice.  A prayer team from my Great Aunt's church came and prayed over her and with us.  After they left and before the Hospice nurse arrived, Mom passed away.

It happened so fast.  We thought we at least had a few days.  We had no idea we had minutes.
We had no idea it would happen like this. She went peacefully with my brother and I at her side talking to her.

We greatly appreciate your prayers during this time and for months to come.  I worry about my niece and nephew and them forgetting her.  Not having her there for all their big events.

Have I Lost My Mind?

Have I lost my mind?  I just agreed to be the Service Unit Manager for our local Girl Scout Service Unit.

I have been the Troop Organizer and Registrar, but never a position like this.  It will be a learning experience.  I hope everyone is patient with me.

Sewing with Girl Scouts--May Meeting

My heart swelled, yet broke slightly, at our monthly Girl Scout meeting tonight.  The girls have been discussing Bronze and Silver Award projects, and they decided to make blankets and pillows for local hospitals.  I could not come up with something "fun" for the meeting, so I decided we would start with the project.  I bought 4 pieces of light fleece to make tie blankets, and Mom found some pieces of material to sew and make pillow cases.  We realized we didn't have the stuffing, but we can do that later.  I showed the girls how to cut and tie the blankets while she showed them how to sew a simple stitch/hem with the sewing machine.  The first girl, who took to it quickly and easily, happens to have the same name as my niece.  All I could think was . . . this should be my niece and her grandmother sewing together.  Maybe some day it will be, but at the rate we are going, it won't.  My heart broke slightly at this sight and thought.  However, I was excited that both of us could share these skills with three (only three came tonight) beautiful young ladies.

Reading and Struggling Readers

Our 8th graders had to pass this year's state assessment to move on to 9th grade.  If they fail the first test, they receive two more chances.  Between the first and second tests, we pulled the students from electives to give them extra help.  I had the privilege of working with 12 ladies and gentlemen.

The first day, I had them do a reading interest survey to help me find out a little bit about them.  We actually did very little involving reading skills as I wanted to build relationships with them.  I learned that most don't have books in the home, and most had only read one book in the last year.  The more I read their answers, the sadder I got.

Over the next 11 days, we worked on various things, but the one that that repeated daily was their lack of desire to read and their absolute disdain for reading.  It saddened me.

On our last day together, I finally had a great idea.  I checked out a lot of children's books from our campus library.  We don't have a large assortment, but we had several and some great ones.  I showed the students each book, said the title, and told them a little bit about the book.  I had used to some sentence stems to create questions they could do with any book to practice the skills they needed.  They could work individually or in pairs.  Each student or pair chose a book.  Next thing I knew, they were reading.  Reading silently.  Reading to one another.  Listening to someone read to them. Working. Practicing.  THEY WERE READING!!  I nearly cried.  Why didn't I think of this sooner?  I will next year.

Thoughts as I Approach 40

You know when you are young . . . you dream about your future and make plans and/or set goals.  I remember thinking I would meet my Mr. Right during college, marry soon after graduation, and have at least one, if not two, children by the age of 30 or 35, at the latest.  I figured I'd teach at the same school where I was first hired and stay there until retirement. By the time I was to turn 40, I would be happily married with a great little family and working with a great group of people. My home would have a library and an office, and it would be filled with love.  I think I thought that was God's plan for me, but I have learned that God had a different plan.  However, I worry that I have sabotaged God's plan and how my life has turned out has really been more about my choices than His.  

Have you seen Under the Tuscan Sun?  Toward the end, she is feeling low, and her friend reminds her that when she bought the house, she wanted to do three things with the hoe.  She wanted to raise a family, host a wedding, and one other thing I have forgotten.  The things she wanted, she did receive, but they weren't for her personally. (She was helping her friend raise her child, and she hosted the wedding of the neighbor girl and young man who worked on her home.) That is the revelation I have had this week as I approach my 40th birthday.

I have no Mr. Right.  Yeah, I haven't met him yet (that I know of), and maybe I am not meant to marry. I keep talking to God about this.

I have no children of my own, but God allowed me to be extremely involved in the lives of my nephew and niece the first 11 & 9 years of their lives.  Years, experiences, and memories I will treasure always. Experiences I miss. Through them, I got to enjoy school programs and parties, extra curricular activities, coming home to the open arms and smiling faces of two amazing cuties, and so much more. Not one experience or opportunity did I take for granted.

I didn't stay at the first school where I was hired.  No, I changed schools/districts my 2nd year, and during my 10 years there, I met some of the most amazing people who helped sculpt me into who I am as an educator and person. I went on to get my Masters and Doctorate, which had me meeting many more amazing people, and this led me to a district position that taught me a lot, gave me many new experiences, and continued to sculpt me into the educator I am. State and district decisions led me to a life changing decision that led me to another school and new experience that has stretched me and taught me even more.  Who knows where my professional life will end up? I do have to say . . . the experiences that I have had and the people I have met . . . I never would have dreamed.

I live in a home that I absolutely love in a town I love, even though I hate that it is growing so much, and yes, I do have a library and office space.  :-)

I've buried loved ones and purchased cemetery plots, which is something that truly impacts you.

I have two friends who are with me through everything, no matter the event, time of day, or insanity.  I have amazing co-workers, present and past, and another set of friends I could call on if needed. I have a family that loves me. I have a roof over my head and income each month.

Is my life where I expected it to be when I turned 40?  Nope.  Is it better? I don't know about better, but it is the life that has made me the person I am . . . for better or worse.

Another thought . . .

What makes a great birthday?  I see more and more people making it a birthday weekend or birthday week.  Others go on big trips.  Me? Yeah, I go to work and maybe dinner.  I have no idea what I would even want to do. I guess for me, I am here to live it, and I get to see some special people (maybe not all of them, but some), and the day ends up being pretty OK. I think I will ponder this a little longer.

Mom and Aunt Darlene took me to dinner and enjoyed gluten free cupcakes with me.  Thanks, ladies!

(We laughed hysterically as we tried to take selfies with a digital camera (not a phone).)

April Girl Scout Meeting

Tonight, we finished our Buddy Burners and cooked breakfast burritos.

You just need a large can.  Use a church key or bottle opener to poke three holes along the open end of the can and three more on the opposite side near the closed end of the can.  Light your burner, set your can on top, and cook.

Pics to come . . .