Weight Loss Journey--Part 4

November 2014

I continued to do well with my walking and working out until June 2015, when Mom passed away.  I pretty much lost all desire and motivation, so I all but stopped with the workouts.

In December 2015, my doctor diagnosed me with Hashimoto's and Celiac.  Now, I started Thyroid meds and had to cut out gluten.  I thought I was doing OK, but I wasn't.  I really started reading everything, even more than I had before.

In February 2016, I found some motivation and started watching my calorie intake again.  I had been using the Myfitnesspal app to help guide my eating and calorie intake.  During the second half of 2015, I quit using it.  When I realized by the end of January 2016 that I had gained about 10-13 lbs since June, I had to start using the app again and doing what I could to workout. I really like this app, and it keeps me on track.

I also read food labels and researched foods to eat when I did go out to help me watch my gluten consumption.  By cutting out gluten, I could tell I was feeling better.  A lot of the digestive and stomach problems had gone away, and I could tell that I felt better overall. Inflammation had gone down, joints quit hurting, and I just had a much better feeling that I really can't explain.

May 2016

Between July 2012 and now, I have lost 90 lbs. Of course, I have not kept all that off, but I do try to maintain within a certain range. That, I can handle and not stress about.

All of it is due to changing my eating habits, what I eat, eating more protein, fruits, and vegetables, and cutting out gluten, bread, crackers, pasta, and most sugars.  I now eat spinach salads, vegetables, and yogurt, which never happened before July 2012, and I make sure I have protein at lunch and dinner. I used to have a shake made of powders sold at my doctor's office for breakfast, but now, I have a variety of things to get my day started.  I have taken supplements to regulate my Iron, Vitamin D, and more. I eat gluten free baked goods every now and again, I don't snack from the candy basket at work, and I never eat from the foods shared at work (unless I read labels or know exactly what is in it, which is rare).

Some say I have unbelievable will power.  No, I just can't take the risk of poisoning my body and making myself sick. When I go out, I have to research the restaurant and choose carefully.  When I go to other people's homes, I take my own food.  I take my lunch every day to work.  I have to be in control of my food, every bite.

Weight Loss Journey--Part 3

Throughout 2013 and 2014, I continued watching my carbs, cutting out sweets as much as possible, eating more protein, and working out when I could. If I ate bread or pasta, it was wheat.  I ate brown rice instead of white.

March 2, 2013

August 2013

In 2014, I began walking 30 minutes to an hour as many days as possible.

My first 5K in February 2014

 Spring 2014

Between Memorial Day and July 4th, my BFF, Jill, and I walked 100 miles.  It was amazing! I did lots of walking throughout 2014.

During all this time, I was still seeing my Wellness Doctor.  In May 2014, I was told to watch my gluten intake.  I started reading labels and cutting out anything with wheat, barley, and rye.  As I began this Gluten Free journey, I thought I was doing a good job, but I found there were hidden ingredients and eating out was a struggle.

By changing from white flour to wheat, I was hurting myself even more, but I had no idea.

Weight Loss Journey--Part 2

I continued to see this doctor and work on lowering my A1C and watch my eating from February 2010-June 2011.  I tried changing a few things on my menu, but I was struggling.

At some point, I saw a doctor specifically for my digestive issues, but he was rude and made me uncomfortable and stupid.  He did not help me.

In May 2011, I changed jobs, and my new one began in August.  I was still trying to do better, but I really wasn't losing weight or lowering my A1C. I just wasn't figuring it out, I guess.

In January 2012, I began going to what I call a Wellness Doctor.  Before I went, I asked family, who had been going, if he was a Quack or used really different methods.  I mean, what is a Wellness doctor? They said he did not.  I still wasn't sure, but I gave him a try.  What I liked was how thorough the blood panel was.  When the results come back each time, the document is 5-10 pages long, filled with details about organs, blood, hormones, and more. The doctors and assistants are deeply knowledgeable about how the body and organs work, what is needed and not needed, and how to get where you want to go. It is a lot about data, which I like.

I decided I had to get serious.  I switched from white flour to wheat, I started really watching my carb intake, and I tried to make better food choices overall. I began losing, and my A1C did start to get better, but things were not moving very fast.

On July 9, 2012, my BFF and I joined Curves, a gym for women.  During the summer months, we tried to work out six days a week.  Once school began, we tried to get in at least four times a week,  More if we could.  At first, we just did the 30 min circuit.  The better we got and the more active we became, we began adding the stationary bike, elliptical, and treadmill. Soon, I was biking 15-20 miles at a time or walking 30 minutes to an hour.

This picture is from the fall of 2012.

I'm not sure how much I lost or how fast, but I know during two different three month periods, I lost 18 lbs, so I know I lost 36 lbs in six months.

I continued working out regularly and watching my diet through 2013.

While I was losing weight and controlling my Diabetes/lowering my A1C, my digestive and stomach problems were not getting better.

This picture is from June 2013.

Weight Loss Journey--Part 1

I may have discussed my four year weight loss journey on here before, but I have been asked several times in the last month how I've done it.  So? I'll try to start at the beginning.

I was never a skinny, thin girl. Since having exploratory surgery resulting in my appendix being removed in 7th grade, I've always had a bit of a belly below my belly button.  Yes, Mom always said I should tone those muscles after the surgery and receiving a 4+ inch scar, but I never did it.  I should have listened to Mom. I probably wore a size 12 back in high school.  It might have been smaller, but that is what I seem to remember.  I think I might have weighed 135 lbs.

This picture is from 1994.

I maintained my weight through college, the best I can remember.  I remember having dresses about the same size my junior and senior years of college. (Sometimes I wish I still had a few of those.  At least, how I remember them.)

However, my first year of teaching, 1997-1998, is when the pounds began to pack on.  I remember, toward the end of that first year, I wore one of Mom's pants outfits to work.  She was larger than me.  I also remember visiting my brother in college, and I wore one of Mom's shorts outfits.  Again, she was larger than me, the high school and college me.  The more I taught, the more I began to gain.

At some point around me third or fourth year of teaching, I joined Weight Watchers.  In five months, I lost 25 lbs.  However, I did not keep it off.  I continued to gain and packed on at least another 55-60 lbs by February 2010.

During this time, I began wearing XL, then 1X, and then 2X, and maybe even a 3X as well as 20W, 22W, and then 24W.  I managed to get dressed and off to work each day without paying attention to a mirror, and I rarely stepped on a scale.  Except for purchasing a new outfit here or there, I did not pay attention to my looks or weight.

During my teaching years, I had digestive issues, an upset stomach, and other digestive problems. I thought it might be a food allergy or milk intolerance, but I never figured out why I was sick daily.  I just kept working.  Soon, I began having some menstrual issues.

Finally, in February 2010, I decided it was time to start taking care of me.  If I don't, who will?
After seeing a great doctor and having blood work done, she called to say I had gallstones and Diabetes.  She and I were both shocked by the results. I thought these were the cause of the problems I continued to deal with daily.

With this news, something had to change.

This picture of me holding my BFF's baby is from September 2010.

Things I've Learned or Remembered in the Last Year

I love my yard right after it is mowed. Doesn't matter if I did it, a friend, or the brother of a friend. It is clean, and short, and nice.

I renewed my love of old westerns with the INSP channel. I have always loved Rifleman, Bonanza, and Big Valley, but now I love The Virginian. There were some good looking cowboy actors. They fall into the same category of good looking as George W. Bush. :-)

No matter the depth of your grief or loss, grass keeps growing, bodies still need nourishment, dishes and laundry still need to be washed, dust still needs to be controlled, groceries still have to be bought, bills still need to be paid, and life around you still goes on.

Losing someone impacts everyone differently. For some, it completely changes morning, afternoon, and evening routines.

A year that involves grief, loss, and diagnosis of Celiac, Hashimoto's, and Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome truly is life changing, especially when your body is crashing (a post for another day).

Chiggers and mosquitoes still love me, and I still strongly dislike them. They make enjoying spring, summer, and fall quite difficult.

When you have staples in your head, it is not the best idea to mow, move broken branches, or place yourself in the middle of a fight between two middle schoolers in the cafeteria at lunch.

God places people in your path to prepare you for the changes and experiences He has for you. He began making these arrangements many years ago, and I am so grateful. I have absolutely amazing family, friends, and co-workers.

It is possible to live through a year in deep brain fog. Yes, that is such a thing; some due to grief and loss, other due to autoimmune disease. Again, a post for another day.

When someone offers to prepare a meal for you or take you to eat, say, "Yes." You'll be hungry later and won't want to get up to cook or even reheat food.

While it is hard to lean on others, do it. God placed them before you b/c He knows what you need.

When someone tells you to rest, take it easy, or delegate, do it. It may hurt to let go or step back, but it is for the best. 

Relationships change.

I probably should have taken more time off this last year.

God doesn't give us more than we can handle. He pushes us, and at times, he forces change to make us change. Sometimes that is hard to accept. They say things like this happen because better things are to come. I pray they are.

Each of us carries a light within. Sometimes, that light is so dim, flickering, and unbelievably close to going out. Keep the faith. That little light will shine brightly again one day. "This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine."

I am not the same person I was over a year ago. I don't know that I'll ever be the old me. Our experiences shape who we become. At this point, I don't like who I am. My goal in the next year is to find bits and pieces of the old me and create a new me. With God's help, I pray I become a better person.

Maria Shriver Interview and Realizations

Today, I picked up Mom's December 2013/January 2014 AARP magazine and read the interview with Maria Shriver.  She said many things I found interesting, but two specific things stuck with me.

"When she is asked which of her many roles is her favorite, Shriver pauses, then says, 'I'm trying to get away from roles. I used to identify myself strictly in terms of my role, but when your roles fall away, part of you falls with them'" (36).

With the life changes I have experienced the last few years, I have had a hard time figuring out whom I am.  Who I truly am.  Am I the role I have at work?  Am I only seen as an educator or is there more to whom I am? My entire world was wrapped up in being an Auntie to my niece and nephew, and with them no longer here, I don't have the same role.  I have had to learn who I am without them.  I have had to figure out what to do and how to fill my time now.  I constantly ask God who I am meant to be and if I am doing what He wants. If there has been such a huge, dramatic change in my life, then what is next and how do I find and do that role?
So, yes, with every life and job change, our roles change, and we change who we are. We have to learn who we are without identifying with the roles we fill.
Who am I?  Do I like who I am?


"You have to be willing to let go of the life you planned in order to make the life you're meant to live" (37).

This has been a huge struggle of mine lately when I think of my niece and nephew.  Like parents thinking about their children's futures, being so incredibly involved in their lives, I had hopes and wishes for them too.  I have had to come to terms with the fact that who I thought they would grow up to be, which friends they would have, the types of lives they would have . . . that is all different now.  Yes, I know this is weird, and you are probably thinking I shouldn't have even had these kinds of thoughts for them as I am not their mother, but when you live as closely as we did, were as involved as I was (with their parents' permission and blessing), it is hard not to have these kinds of thoughts and wishes for them.  Letting go is scary, emotion, and difficult.

I have also been thinking about this when it comes to my own life.  I have said it before.  I always thought I would go to college, meet the man of my dreams, get married and start my career, have kids by my late 20s/early 30s, etc.  Well, I went to college and started my career, but all the personal stuff hasn't happened.  I have come to terms with that.  Well, I'm trying to any way. Right now, I am very focused on living the life God wants me to live.  Does it involve a husband some day? Kids?  I have no idea. I have learned to live right now and leave the rest to God.

It had been very difficult coming to these realizations and finding my new role or identity in life.

I Am Thankful!

Each day of the month of November, friends posted what they were thankful for over on Facebook.  I chose not to participate this year because I wanted to wait until the end of the month and create one post.  Well, I missed writing yesterday, so I wanted to do it today.  My list is in no particular order.

I am thankful for . . .

-God, who sent Jesus to be born in a manger and then gave His only begotten son to forgive me for my sins, and who makes all things possible, gives us nature, opportunities, and more.

-my mother, the strongest woman I know.  She has endured so much, gives of herself, and works herself 'til exhaustion taking care of others.  Oh, how I love her and am in awe of her.

-my dearest and best friends, J & R.  I can share everything with these two ladies, and I know they will keep my words, thoughts, and feelings completely private. They always know exactly what to say to help me get through everything.  They are Godly, amazing women, and I am so unbelievably grateful for them and their friendship.

-my brother and sister-in-law, who allowed me to be a very hands-on Auntie for 10.5 years.  Gosh, how I love my niece and nephew!  There are no words to explain how much it meant to me to be a part of their daily lives.  I truly treasured every moment, every experience I shared with them. They made me smile, filled my days with joy, and taught me so much.

-my Granny and late Grandpa, who were at every important function in my life, who supported and loved me through it all.

-the two wonderful ladies I share an office with at work, J & P.  They help me solve problems, think through ideas, and to be the best Instructional Specialist I can be all while working within the parameters set before us. I am thankful they put up with my craziness.

-the other Instructional Specialists, Facilitators, and Coordinators I work with and have gotten to know. They support me and believe in me when I don't believe in myself.

-Richardson and Texas Jaycees.  The Richardson Jaycees, my aunt, and cousin honored me by nominating me as one of the Five Outstanding Young Texans in 2011.  The Texas Jaycees chose me as one of these FOYT for my work as an educator.  I was so overwhelmed with such an honor, and I am not sure I showed my appreciation to the depth that I am honored.  While I was being chosen and named, I was being forced to make a professional decision that left me looking for a job.  The weekend I was being honored with a fabulous ceremony, I had no job as an educator, for which was the main reason I was nominated. There are no words to describe how appreciative I am of this fabulous award.

-my friends and co-workers at the school where I taught for 10 years and other friends within that district.  I chose to leave the classroom and the district for a central administration position, which I had for 3 years, in another local district.  I loved this experience and meeting the people in this new district.  With statewide budget cuts, I had to make a decision in the spring of 2011.  These amazing former co-workers were my connection to getting a job back in my former district that fall.  The friends that I met and worked with during those 10 years cannot be matched.  I will treasure their friendship always.

-that I have a job, which gives me an income to have a car, home, food, and more.

-my aunts, uncles, cousins, and other family.  They are always there when I need them.

-the pastor of the church where I have been visiting.  She has been so welcoming and friendly.

-my Girl Scout troop, which has given me something to focus my time and energy on during this very crazy year.  It is also a time I get to spend with my niece, which I treasure. My co-leader is pretty fabulous too!  Couldn't do it without her!

I know people will see this and think, "Why didn't she mention me?" or "Why didn't she mention so and so or such and such?"  I know that my list could go on and on and on.  There are so many people, experiences, and things I am thankful for these days.  As sure as I post this, I will think of something else.  Who knows?  Maybe I will just keep coming back to this post and updating it.