Have you cared for an aging parent? How did you handle it? What did you do? What got you through?
I realized last week that while Mom was in rehab for 6 weeks recovering from her broken leg, I was more at ease, less stressed. People were keeping an eye on her sugar, blood pressure, oxygen levels, and more. Her medical needs/complications were being monitored. She had three meals a day that she surprisingly liked. She could rest as much as you wanted, get involved in whatever she wanted, and could get out when I was there in the evenings and on weekends if she wanted. She went to therapy, talked to everyone, and we were comfortable with everyone there.
Since coming home, I have worried more, and my stress level has gone up. She doesn't sleep well at night. She has worked to make sure she isn't napping all day, but it doesn't seem to matter how active she is or how much she naps. When she moves any distance at all, she is out of breath, and it takes a little while for her breathing to return to normal. Each morning when I leave, I am relieved to hear her snoring or moaning. I know she is alive.
I have a terrible fear that I am going to wake up one morning, and she will have passed away. While it would be comforting to know she went in her sleep, it is still the thought. I worry when I don't get a text or email from her during the day.
Taking care of an aging parent is not something people thing about until it happens. My suggestion to all children out there . . . think about it before it happens. Talk to your parents about what they want for long term care, what their desires are, and more. Figure out a plan if possible. Find a support system for yourself and your parent(s).
Showing posts with label care giving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label care giving. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Caring for the Elderly
You just never know what is going to happen when caring for the elderly.
My mom broke both right leg bones at the ankle on February 10th. With her injury, hospital stay, surgery, and need for rehab, Granny needed round the clock care from the ladies we used in the past. They were good with her, and we greatly appreciate them.
Over the last two weeks, Granny has seemed more confused in the evenings. Our head caregiver called that "sundowning." This last weekend, when she talked, she didn't really make sense, but she kept going. She seemed to not be as interested in her daily puzzle in the paper or drinking as much coffee, but she still seemed OK.
At 11:33 pm, Feb. 25th, I was awakened by a phone call with the head caregiver telling me Granny was unresponsive and the ambulance was on its way. When I got there, I knew she was gone, but they couldn't officially tell me that yet. They did CPR for at least 20 minutes and then transported her to the hospital, still doing CPR, but she never woke. The lady we thought would outlive everyone, Granny, passed away in the wee hours of February 26, 2013.
She was an amazing lady, and she will be greatly missed.
My mom broke both right leg bones at the ankle on February 10th. With her injury, hospital stay, surgery, and need for rehab, Granny needed round the clock care from the ladies we used in the past. They were good with her, and we greatly appreciate them.
Over the last two weeks, Granny has seemed more confused in the evenings. Our head caregiver called that "sundowning." This last weekend, when she talked, she didn't really make sense, but she kept going. She seemed to not be as interested in her daily puzzle in the paper or drinking as much coffee, but she still seemed OK.
At 11:33 pm, Feb. 25th, I was awakened by a phone call with the head caregiver telling me Granny was unresponsive and the ambulance was on its way. When I got there, I knew she was gone, but they couldn't officially tell me that yet. They did CPR for at least 20 minutes and then transported her to the hospital, still doing CPR, but she never woke. The lady we thought would outlive everyone, Granny, passed away in the wee hours of February 26, 2013.
She was an amazing lady, and she will be greatly missed.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Caring for the Elderly
Continuing to watch my mother care for my grandmother has been an eye-opening experience.
Today, like most Saturdays lately, Mom and I loaded Granny into the car to run errands, have lunch, and go to the store (i.e. Walmart). This not only gets Granny out of the house, but it allows Mom to get out and about with other people. You would think it would be a nice break, but the whole process of taking Granny anywhere is quite exhausting.
Each time we go to the store, Granny reminds me of a toddler shopping with his/her parents--looking at everything on the shelves, pointing to things she wants, asking over and over for items until she gets them or you leave, grabbing items from shelves when we roll her to close, and more. The worst is going down the bread aisle and passing all the Little Debbie sweets. She points and grabs all kinds of different sweets. She loves Donut Sticks, little donuts, and Honey Buns. The second worst is waiting in the check-out lane. She looks at all the candy, grabbing a few, and the various impulse items lining the waiting area.
Today, she was all about getting three different sizes of storage bags, Pop Tarts, lipstick, and a small bag. To you, this may not seem like a big deal, but Mom does everything at the house, so she knows what is needed and what isn't. Granny pretty much sits in her chair or in bed. Other than the puzzle in the daily paper, she doesn't do anything. Not that we haven't tried! I just find it funny what she insists on getting and how childlike she is going about it.
Besides this, she is all about the sweets. If at all possible, she would eat sweets all day long. She eats far more syrup on her waffles or pancakes than a family of 6 could eat in one sitting. She eats Donut Sticks, snack cakes, candy, and anything else sweet that you could imagine, and that is all she wants. Poor, Mom. She has to fight the sweets all day and make sure Granny eats all the food groups and gets enough protein. It is quite a fight. Just like when parents try to get their young children to eat appropriately.
I have been concerned about my mom from the beginning. She isn't in the best health, but she insists on doing this. Granny has Dementia, so we are learning how to deal with that. I have noticed that my mom has started forgetting things. I'm not sure how serious it is just yet, but it does worry me.
Anyone else caring for the elderly? What have you noticed? What do you fight? How do you survive?
Today, like most Saturdays lately, Mom and I loaded Granny into the car to run errands, have lunch, and go to the store (i.e. Walmart). This not only gets Granny out of the house, but it allows Mom to get out and about with other people. You would think it would be a nice break, but the whole process of taking Granny anywhere is quite exhausting.
Each time we go to the store, Granny reminds me of a toddler shopping with his/her parents--looking at everything on the shelves, pointing to things she wants, asking over and over for items until she gets them or you leave, grabbing items from shelves when we roll her to close, and more. The worst is going down the bread aisle and passing all the Little Debbie sweets. She points and grabs all kinds of different sweets. She loves Donut Sticks, little donuts, and Honey Buns. The second worst is waiting in the check-out lane. She looks at all the candy, grabbing a few, and the various impulse items lining the waiting area.
Today, she was all about getting three different sizes of storage bags, Pop Tarts, lipstick, and a small bag. To you, this may not seem like a big deal, but Mom does everything at the house, so she knows what is needed and what isn't. Granny pretty much sits in her chair or in bed. Other than the puzzle in the daily paper, she doesn't do anything. Not that we haven't tried! I just find it funny what she insists on getting and how childlike she is going about it.
Besides this, she is all about the sweets. If at all possible, she would eat sweets all day long. She eats far more syrup on her waffles or pancakes than a family of 6 could eat in one sitting. She eats Donut Sticks, snack cakes, candy, and anything else sweet that you could imagine, and that is all she wants. Poor, Mom. She has to fight the sweets all day and make sure Granny eats all the food groups and gets enough protein. It is quite a fight. Just like when parents try to get their young children to eat appropriately.
I have been concerned about my mom from the beginning. She isn't in the best health, but she insists on doing this. Granny has Dementia, so we are learning how to deal with that. I have noticed that my mom has started forgetting things. I'm not sure how serious it is just yet, but it does worry me.
Anyone else caring for the elderly? What have you noticed? What do you fight? How do you survive?
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Caring for the Elderly
Have you been the caregiver for a senior citizen? If so, please share you thoughts, ideas, and ways of surviving.
My mother, the most amazing, strongest woman I know, has taken over the daily care of her mother, Granny. We had some wonderful ladies who stayed with her 24/7 for the last 9.5 months, but due to finances, Mom took over at Thanksgiving. You know it has to be an adjustment to do something like this, but I don't think anyone can really prepare themselves for what is involved. Mom has given up her whole life, and in order to check on both of them, my life has changed too.
Granny lived alone and still drove until May 2010. She was followed, attacked, and robbed. That very incident would impact anyone, but it was the beginning of the end of the lady we knew. Because she was so scared, even in her own home, she would be awake at all hours. One early September morning in 2010, she was moving through her house, fell, and broke her hip. After surgery and a hospital stay, she went to a rehab facility. She did great, and she was able to return to her home within 3 months. She continued to be scared, but she was determined to be on her own. By this point, she was no longer driving, and she was pretty much in her home full-time, afraid to leave b/c someone might break in. She would leave if a family member took her somewhere, but she was afraid until she returned home.
In September 2011, she developed a blood infection and a few other concerns, so back to the hospital she went. Again, a hospital stay led to rehab to get her up and moving. She didn't recover as well from this. Dementia began settling in. She seemed to enjoy the rehab facility, so we decided to leave her there in the nursing home portion. For the most part, she was happy, made friends, and seemed to be doing well. This was when things were going well, her mind was "right, and she was more herself. However, she also had another side. This side was angry and frustrated, and during this time, she would argue and argue about going home, accuse people of things, and more. Finally, in order for Mom to survive, we gave Granny a choice, knowing she wasn't always in her right mind. She could stay in the nursing home or she would go home with 24/7 care. Because of the Dementia, she totally believed she could care for herself and didn't know why someone had to be there full-time. This has been the argument and struggle for 10 months.
Through the caregivers, we have learned about "sun-downing" and Dementia, but it is still so hard to see Granny like this, see how she seems fine and herself one minute and the next she is a mean, selfish, ungrateful person we don't know. She talks to herself or to people who aren't there. She says things that she would never have said to Mom or in front of me.
Unless I keep a log of everything Granny says or does, no one can believe what this has been like, especially for Mom.
There has to be some sort of training for this. I am sure there are support systems, but how do you go about finding them or becoming a part? Caring for anyone, but especially a parent, is so stressful, which I have probably already said, and you don't get a lot of rest. It is exhausting.
Besides worrying about Mom and the toll this is taking on her and her health, this whole situation has started me thinking about when I become a senior citizen and have no one to care for me. I know it may sound like I'm being selfish, but . . . Will I be that sad little lady in the nursing home with no one visiting? Who will know when it is time for me to have full time help? Who will pay for it? What if I can't pay for it? Where do I go?
So . . . besides wondering about my future, this has also brought to my mind the need for families to start thinking, now, about the care of their parents and/or grandparents when time comes. So many people think that is something to worry about later, but I tell you, the time is now to start thinking and planning. Loved ones need to become educated on care-giving or caring for the elderly. I don't have all the answers, but I just know more has to be done to get the info out to loved ones.
My mother, the most amazing, strongest woman I know, has taken over the daily care of her mother, Granny. We had some wonderful ladies who stayed with her 24/7 for the last 9.5 months, but due to finances, Mom took over at Thanksgiving. You know it has to be an adjustment to do something like this, but I don't think anyone can really prepare themselves for what is involved. Mom has given up her whole life, and in order to check on both of them, my life has changed too.
Granny lived alone and still drove until May 2010. She was followed, attacked, and robbed. That very incident would impact anyone, but it was the beginning of the end of the lady we knew. Because she was so scared, even in her own home, she would be awake at all hours. One early September morning in 2010, she was moving through her house, fell, and broke her hip. After surgery and a hospital stay, she went to a rehab facility. She did great, and she was able to return to her home within 3 months. She continued to be scared, but she was determined to be on her own. By this point, she was no longer driving, and she was pretty much in her home full-time, afraid to leave b/c someone might break in. She would leave if a family member took her somewhere, but she was afraid until she returned home.
In September 2011, she developed a blood infection and a few other concerns, so back to the hospital she went. Again, a hospital stay led to rehab to get her up and moving. She didn't recover as well from this. Dementia began settling in. She seemed to enjoy the rehab facility, so we decided to leave her there in the nursing home portion. For the most part, she was happy, made friends, and seemed to be doing well. This was when things were going well, her mind was "right, and she was more herself. However, she also had another side. This side was angry and frustrated, and during this time, she would argue and argue about going home, accuse people of things, and more. Finally, in order for Mom to survive, we gave Granny a choice, knowing she wasn't always in her right mind. She could stay in the nursing home or she would go home with 24/7 care. Because of the Dementia, she totally believed she could care for herself and didn't know why someone had to be there full-time. This has been the argument and struggle for 10 months.
Through the caregivers, we have learned about "sun-downing" and Dementia, but it is still so hard to see Granny like this, see how she seems fine and herself one minute and the next she is a mean, selfish, ungrateful person we don't know. She talks to herself or to people who aren't there. She says things that she would never have said to Mom or in front of me.
Unless I keep a log of everything Granny says or does, no one can believe what this has been like, especially for Mom.
There has to be some sort of training for this. I am sure there are support systems, but how do you go about finding them or becoming a part? Caring for anyone, but especially a parent, is so stressful, which I have probably already said, and you don't get a lot of rest. It is exhausting.
Besides worrying about Mom and the toll this is taking on her and her health, this whole situation has started me thinking about when I become a senior citizen and have no one to care for me. I know it may sound like I'm being selfish, but . . . Will I be that sad little lady in the nursing home with no one visiting? Who will know when it is time for me to have full time help? Who will pay for it? What if I can't pay for it? Where do I go?
So . . . besides wondering about my future, this has also brought to my mind the need for families to start thinking, now, about the care of their parents and/or grandparents when time comes. So many people think that is something to worry about later, but I tell you, the time is now to start thinking and planning. Loved ones need to become educated on care-giving or caring for the elderly. I don't have all the answers, but I just know more has to be done to get the info out to loved ones.
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