The thing that has been on my mind is how much it hurts when it is you who has changed. Due to so much that has happened in the last year, I have changed. I do not like who I have become. I want to be the old me or a better version of the old me. Instead, I'm worse. This might be due to grief or autoimmune disease or both.
Last night, I saw that Joel Olsteen Ministries posted this on Facebook.
"God is not as concerned about our comfort as He is our purpose. We don’t always understand why things happen to us, but here’s the key: sometimes God will let us be uncomfortable now so He can bless us later on, so He can take us to a new level of our destiny."
I do not understand why everything has happened. I hate what it has done to me, how it has changed me. I always thought I would handle grief better, but it is like I haven't had control of my own actions and thoughts, no matter how hard I have tried.
God has not had me go through all that I have for me to fall a part or be a bad example/model. I just keep holding onto faith and prayer that things will get better. I just have to be patient and have faith.
